MechanicaLOVE

This is for you, Syawalina

2011-12-21T12:30:00.004+08:00

This is still me actually, Syawalina.
But I'm writing this for me.
The future me :)

I know myself well (Duh) I like to go down memory lane when I'm bored. I like to stalk my old self (I know, that sounds so vain, but this is me) So I know I will read this, at one point in the future, be it near or distant.

This is to you, Nur Syawalina Azwani bt Hussain. I don't know, you might be 20, 24, 30. You might be happily married, with kids. I just want you to read this and to remind you of some important things that you might have forgotten as time passed.

This is me, Nur Syawalina Azwani bt Hussain, at the age of 18. On the verge of 2012. I love my parents, Hussain bin Yaacub and my mother, Che Azizah @ Che Badariah bt Saad. I love my sisters and my brothers (some more than the other) Tok Ipoh just passed away a few months ago. Kak Syaza just got married a few weeks ago. Kakyin's baby is already born (!!) I am currently on holidays from Intec where I'm doing my A levels, going back there in two days. Do you remember? This is the point of my life where I feel so happy, like there's nothing to be lost. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I'm sure scared as hell to face it.

Oh, I also love my best friends very much. Right now I'm very close with Zulaiha and Syaza. And also Awad, Farid, Aqilli, Shanad, Atilia, Zhoafri. I've distanced from Janice, Stefira, Iman and even Hoo Keen, which is really sad actually. But we didn't get into any kind of fights or anything, it just came naturally. I could have tried harder to keep in contact with them, I guess but it just became too hard because both sides stopped trying, you know? I hope by this point of your life, you won't distant away from Zulaiha. She's the single most prominent friend I have ever had. Please don't lose her.

And are you married, future Syawalina? If you are, to whom? If you're not, are you with anyone? Who? I hope it's Safwan. Remember Safwan? That cute guy who says the cutest things. The sweet guy who has no idea he's being sweet. That clueless guy who doesn't even know what he wants sometimes. That awesome guy you fell in love with. The most loyal person you've ever known, not in the sense that he doesn't talk to girls or anything. Just in the sense that he likes you and you alone, never cheated on you, when you know you don't deserve such loyalty. Okay sometimes he's such a beef jerky but at the end of the day he'll always apologise and it would all be fine again.

Syawal, if you're not married yet, I hope you're not in a relationship with anyone (if not Safwan) you promised yourself (me, really) that you wouldn't get into another relationship if the one you had with Safwan ended, remember that? I hope you keep to that promise. And if you're married, and not with Safwan, well I hope he treats you nicely. And I hope the reason you ended it with Safwan was a good reason. I know you still think of him til this very day. I know you like no one else does.

Please, Syawal, I hope you've gotten more religious from the person I am now. I've so much regrets, still sinning so much and wishing to stop but god knows it's so hard to change. Please please be a better person than I am right now. I hope, at this point of your life, you've found the courage to do what I currently do not have. I shall not elaborate on this anymore because honestly I don't even know how to put it in words. I know you get me.

Oh, and today I just got a new phone! :D samsung camry II hehe. I hope you take care of the phone nicely okay. I know it's not the phone that you want but Kakyin was more than generous to have given you the phone anyway. You're one lucky girl, don't ever ever forget that.

Dear Syawal, please never lose hope in life because Allah will always know what's best for you. 'The more Allah loves you, the more He will test you' and you know He will not put onto you any burden that you can not bear. Ever.

Syawalina, here I am, with the family I love, with a new member of the family (Mika!), just got off the phone with a best friend (Atilia) and the boyfriend (Safwan), I ish so happy right now. And I wish you all the happiness, wherever you are, at whichever point of life you are in right now.

I love you, don't ever forget that. I love you in your darkest hours, in your best times, during your ugliest faces and through all your beautiful ones.

Be strong always, fragile girl.
You'll show the world one day that you are indeed, strong.
Hearts always, Syawalina
Happy New Year 2012 :)

Mischu (:

2011-11-25T22:00:00.003+08:00

I noticed that I always blog here whenever I'm angry or sad, but I never actually blog when I'm happy. So I'm gonna blog about someone who's making me very happy, the him that I've been talking about but never really told you much about him, did I? His name's Mohd Safwan bin Latif. Was born on the 27th August 1993. Born and raised in Pontian, Johor. Oh, he's also the love of my life :)

Just yesterday was our 22nd monthsary. We've technically been together (or not?) since the 24th January 2011. It wasn't a declaration or anything. He didn't ask me if I'd be his girlfriend. He just simply told me he wanted to marry me (After I kept complaining that no one would wanna marry me) and then I asked him "What do you want me to say now?" then he told me to say "I'll wait for you" but I kept quiet and told him I'd think about it. Days passed by and I kept denying my feelings towards him but in the end of course I succumbed to his sincerity (and the annoyingly cute reverse psychology he used on me).

Eventhough the date to be remembered is 24th January, he had been somewhat more than a friend a bit longer than that. He was the one who picked me up from the pieces and helped to glue the pieces back together. Since then he never left. Well, never left too long anyway :p We've had countless fights, and really ridiculously bad ones too, at that. But we never really managed to stay away from each other for too long. A lot like most love songs are about you know. But this isn't a love song. This isn't a fairytale. This is our love story :)

The reason both of us kept it down low was that, even in school, I didn't really want anybody to know. We managed to keep it a secret until a few months after that when my classmates notice us passing each other this one book that we write to each other in(okay yeah childish wtv. it's cute to me!) and then soon the whole batch knew -.- but we didn't show it to the public. it was dangerous for me, being a BWP and all. and my school had this tight rule about couples. So yeah. We kept our distance. I might have kept my distance a bit further than he did, but that didn't keep him away too far :')

If I had told you every little thing we went through, this one post wouldn't be enough obviously. But there's so many things about him that differs with all the other guys. He told his mum that he liked me even before he told me. He's the shy guy I've always wanted. Undoubtedly loyal. Dangerously handsome. And most importantly he'll be the imam to my prayers, insya-Allah.

I'd like to dedicate every love song in the world to him. And this one especially.

He showed me that I could learn to love again.
He showed me how to mend a broken heart.
He showed me, true love.

And for that, I thank you, mon cherie :)

Sorry

2011-10-31T15:58:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry dear bloggie, for I always come to you in my most stressed out moments.

I can't call Safwan, he's probably asleep. I need to talk to him so badly. But it's a bit weird, talking to your boyfriend about your ex-boyfriend.

God, dude, you. You, the ex-boyfriend. You have the fucking nerve, kan? To tell everyone that it was my fault? You have the fucking nerve to somehow turn it all around and made it sound like you were the good guy and I was the bad girl. Yes I'm saying FUCK. One of the reasons you broke up with me, eh? Pfft. Why'd you break up with me long after I said the word? HUH? Oh I texted your mummy eh? I wanted to text YOU. How was I to know it was your MUM'S phone wtf THIS ISN'T EVEN MILDLY A VALID REASON TO BREAK UP. Some more it was AGES ago. Why'd you decide to break up months after that?

God there's no point lah getting all stiffy over YOU. You were always wrong for me. Even during the first few months that I was with you, I always suspected there was something fishy with you. All the lies that you nonchalantly told. But I stayed on, with the hope that you might have actually changed. Well I was right, somewhat. The lies lessened. I actually believed that I was in love. Heck, I was really in love, with someone whom I thought was in love with me too. But after the change of schools, and a mere distance away, you decided to have a change of heart.

I mean, I didn't blame you much. We were young, what did we know about love anyway kan. I blamed myself mostly for falling for you. And after that distance and time apart from each other, I'm sure you felt lost. And then when school ended during form 4, we officially ended it. Before that you told me all the advice from your ustaz and friends about how couple is wrong. And that you're doing this all for my best. This is because of religion, you had somewhat said.

And now, 2 years after that, you tell my FRIEND that you broke up with me because I liked to CUSS and that I texted mean stuff to your MUMMY. Do you see how RIDICULOUS this is?

I honestly don't care anymore what you end up being in your life. I once said I forgave you, right? For all the things that you used to do to me. But for this, the lying that you're telling people about me, this one I haven't forgiven yet. I beg Allah to give me the STRENGTH to actually pardon you for everything but until then... I still hate you a lot.

Return from the Dead

2011-09-26T13:57:00.003+08:00

Well, hello.

I'm in INTEC now doing A Levels for Engineering so yeah that sums it all. Whatever.

I think I should reiginite the blog because, well, I think I tweet too much. Chyeah. And also because I'm in the library with pretty much nothing to do but sit around and watch my dashboard be filled with tweets. Ya see. Hmm. Well yea kbye

Feelings

2011-06-18T11:48:00.002+08:00

You know that fluttering feeling in your chest that you get when you're head over heels in love with someone?
And that sickening feeling all over your body when your heart gets broken?

Well, I feel nothing.

Oxymoron

2011-06-08T10:00:00.002+08:00

I love to hate you.

'Nuff said. :D

Okay I've absolutely no idea why I'm in such a bubbly mood, considering how bored I feel right now. Okay maybe it's because I'M ONLINE thank god for my laptop and broadband. Am currently in my room right now. As in, the room in CFS IIUM, the one I share with 3 others. Did I mention that the room actually has two bunk beds? Like wth right. I came early, so I got the bottom bed. Thankfully. ~~Er, I guess~~

Anyway don't take me wrong. My roommates are really very nice. I can't complain much about this place except for the very aged toilets and 'restrooms' (as they call it). Oh, and speaking of which, nature calls. Toodles :D

Oh darling

2011-06-08T09:50:00.001+08:00

Whee I feel so happy after listening to this song. Though maybe I can't really relate to it much anymore, but still. Yeah :D

Oh, if you're like, wondering. I'm single. Hahah. I may or may not have found the right guy, but we're still waiting for the right time. So like yeah. For now we're more like feuds than friends, really. :/

I really want to, come out and tell you, Oh darling I love you so ~

that's all part of the song, by the way. :DD

Torn

2011-06-07T22:39:00.002+08:00

I was just off the phone with my dad, ~~I think~~ we had an argument. I cried. Hmm. I cry a lot. I can't really say nowadays, because I do cry a lot. I'm a crybaby. Ha.

Remember a few posts ago I was contemplating which country I would be able to go to under JPA? Well it turned out I failed to get overseas at all. The first few weeks after finding that out was pretty rough. My parents, especially my dearest Abah, tried so hard to help. He called so many people, tried to do as much as he could. And now that all of that has proved to be of no avail, and I've already entered CFS IIUM (also known as Pusat Asasi UIAM) I thought I was okay with this already.

Until a few hours ago when someone from my old school, whom I'm not so close with, had asked, why did I enter UIAM? And a few other ruthless, insensitive questions that hurt me. And which eventually hurt my dad too, later on when I called him. But I was the one who hurt him, of course.

I'm such a bad daughter. I never appreciate what my parents do for me. Change, Syawalina. Change, for crying out loud. Just appreciate whatever it is that Allah has given you. You've tried your best, but along the way you've made a few mistakes here and there that has led you to where you are now. Make the best out of it. You think JPA was wrong for not sending you overseas? Prove it to them. Be the best in whatever it is you're doing, right here in Malaysia. Prove to everyone that you are worth it.

Do it for yourself.
Do it for your parents.
But mostly, do it for Him, He who had decided that UIAM is the best place for you.

Love is not a game

2011-05-11T11:15:00.004+08:00

And I should have realised that before I mess around with someone's heart.

I feel guilty. This is not the first time I've done this to a guy. Gosh, I'm sorry. I'll stay away from you. I'll stop asking you questions. I'll stop asking you about your life, and I'll stop telling you about mine. We're nothing special. We're just friends. I'm in love with Safwan, not you. I'll stop torturing you, I'll stay away. Really.

*change topic*

I'm a bit sad. I'm worried about Safwan. His studies, I mean. Sigh. It doesn't matter if we don't get to study somewhere close to each other, that was never in the plan anyway. I even planned for us to study far away from each other. That was for the best, we both know it. I don't have to worry about us eventhough we're far away. And if I can trust anyone, it would be him. :)

Sigh. Failure after failure. But that's okay, in Allah we trust and I'm sure he'll give what's best for him. Insya-Allah.

Boombox

2011-05-10T10:29:00.003+08:00

Hey I found a new to listen to music XD

Since my brother's laptop is like running out of memory and my internet connection is so sloww [stupid p1w1max broadband haih] I had accidentally found this website

Jango.com

Woahh and I wrote my own link script! Harhar. It has got to be like at least a year since I last did that *bangga tak semena-mena

Heee well anyway today's my mum's birthday so

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA
*confetti*

I'll be picking up a Carrot cake from Zully's place later on. My parents are out to the clinic, to get meds. Then we'll be out for lunch. Padahal I haven't even had breakfast yet! :'(

Yesterday, the JPA results were supposed to come out but well surprise, surprise it didn't. I know the government promised that 8A+ and above students will get the scholarship, but I'm still eager to know if it's for overseas or local, and WHEREEEEE. Okay cuakz. I really do not want to go to India :'(

Oh and we made up, him and I. Heeeee. Okay yeah so that's most probably why I woke up today with a smile on my face. I probably annoy so many people saying that we broke up like a million times before this and yet we're still together. I guess somethings are just meant to be

1 year 3 months and still counting ♥
:')

Hungreh

2011-05-02T13:37:00.002+08:00

I WANT DESSERT :'(

Anywayy. Since this is like homaigosh so alien to me now because I haven't been blogging in ages, I should probably er, clarify a few things. About this blog. And about myself.

My bloggie woggie - yes I call it that, you've a problem with that? - was born way back when I was 10 years old. It has been my life up to the point when I entered boarding school - then I pretty much neglected it. When most of my old friends had deleted their blogs, and many of my new friends had just started getting into the blogging frenzy, I remained neutral, neither loving nor hating the blog. Just letting it be.

So now that I've returned, and have seen - more or less - the blogging phenomenon lately, well I've just a point to make. I. Blog. A. Lot. Or at least I used to. Really. Long. Posts, too. And I won't blog to please others, I won't blog to make people read what I blog. I blog the way I know how to, and I'll blog about myself and my life mostly. Just like blogs used to be, way back when.

So yes, I'd bet you'll be pretty bored reading this blog. So yes, you are warned ><

Ah! And about myself. Well, most people would be delighted to be talking about themselves while others find trouble to describe their own selves. WELL fortunately I'm one of the former. I can go on and on about myself. And now I shall. Well, briefly of course, because if you're reading up to this, you probably already know me pretty well already :)

I'm Syawalina. I'm eighteen but I ~~might not~~ definitely do not act my age. I'm currently unemployed, waiting for any college to accept me soonish. Just spending my days one day at a time, enjoying every single second with my family and my friends. Don't mind my recent past posts, I've went through er a lot of depressing stages in my life that I'm not very proud of, but I've coped with it and I don't really want to talk about it :D

WELL I GOTTA GO NOW EAT YAY BYE

Hello, old friend

2011-05-01T08:08:00.002+08:00

I have missed you so bloggie, and I've missed reading my own musings on my dear old bloggie. Haha, my past posts have been so sad and depressing. I've actually been very happy these past few months - too bad I didn't blog in that period of time.

Because right now I'm at the bottom of the wheel again.

Anyway, today's my last day of work at the book fair with Cengage Learning. Syaza's running late, so that means I'll be late too because she's my ride to the LRT. And Aisyah will be late too because she's waiting for us at the LRT station. Talk about domino effect.

Well. I'll update again later. I miss you bloggie woggie :')

Hello.

2011-01-22T23:26:00.002+08:00

I just needed somewhere to vent. And where else to vent other than this blog, the most familiar place on the internet.
(: Sorry, bloggie, I have neglected you for so long.

You know, sometimes I hate crying. But sometimes that's all I want to do.
I thought that crying makes me feel very hurt, but now I'm come in terms with the fact that I love crying.
I . Love . Crying .
Because it's like I'm releasing it all out. It's like... Oh I'm in pain now. After this it will all be over.

But it never ends, well that's because I keep crying.
And over the same darned thing.

I don't get myself, I seriously do not.

:(

2011-01-18T17:23:00.001+08:00

Mohd Safwan bin Latif

I miss you with every ounce of me.
I don't like this feeling :(

Tis is sweet!

2011-01-04T23:11:00.002+08:00

I just needed to keep this somewhere, and this place is the safest cos it will always be here! LoLs

Kenny Chow Hoo Keen
‎2133. Okay I didn't know you're next. HAHAHA. But sooner is better than later? :P Can't believe we met today, just like that! But I bet your friends thought I was anti-social or something. ~.~ I just haven't spoken anything other than English for a LONG time! Don't laugh at it! =.=

11 minutes ago · · Comment

- Kenny Chow Hoo Keen
  Okay I knew you from a friend whom you aren't close with now? (x AND HAHAHA that time you were SO COOL! I bet you were just acting. :P Or it was some sort of defense mechanism against some people you just knew. :P WE HAD SO MUCH FUN CHATTING BEFORE! I remember all those nights spent chatting about NOTHING with THE REST! And the time when I had to hold my stomach and my mouth together to prevent myself from bursting my laughter because it was already midnight and I didn't wanna wake up the whole street! And we were and are so alike! Remember this conversation we had about how alike we are? I think we even had that conversation countless times O_O It never ends! And though I never get to talk to you all the time but I'm happy we're at least still close! Though you left the school FIRST. And went to JUNGLE. xP Where you see COWS xP And I'm at MCKL. I think we can talk like crazy if we were to meet up again. Except if Jan was there. HAHA okay that's random. NO IMPLICATIONS MEANT. Oh yeah and do enjoy single-hood as you're at it okay. It's actually not bad. If you do have time, you've gotta listen to my theory of my own love life. xD Anyway aren't you working or something soon?? Don't get bullied okay! And at the same time be more hardworking! Don't be lazy! I know you! xP And, what else can I say? You're as usual, angelic (x And can I still call you idiot? xP or Onion? xD HAHAHA stay bubbly and angelic and cute okay? (x

Hee, lobsters always <3

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

Well, it's not too late. It's still 1/1/2011 where I live.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
2 0 1 1

I will reignite this blog! :)

I just noticed

2010-07-16T15:21:00.001+08:00

I look everywhere to find traces of you..

My one wish

2010-07-16T12:26:00.003+08:00

is that I don't have feelings.

I think, I've always been the type of person, who people seemed to see as selfish and would only think about the hurt that I've been going through.

But I think today I've discovered that what I am, indeed, is a fool. A fool who would rather herself being hurt than hurting others. Who'd keep it all bottled up inside til the inside's all corroded, only then would she let it out to the world.

But he can't see that, would he? He'd never see that. He'll only know what he wants to know. That he's the only one hurt, that he's going through the greater pain. The fact that I have feelings too, that I, too, am human, that I too am foolishly in love, probably escaped his mind.

So I am always the one to blame.

So I am always the bad one.

Whenever I voice out my feelings of dislike or discontent over his actions, he'd compare it to what I've been doing all these while.

So I kept them all to myself.

Then when I gave him an instance, put himself in my shoes, he said he would have been really angry with me.

So now I know that being angry wasn't the wrong thing to do, because he would have felt that too if he was me.

I really am a fool

School

2010-07-07T11:08:00.000+08:00

Has not been any less stressful. Actually, it probably has gotten more stressful now that it's Sem. 2. I'm spending my recess in the PSI, btw. I should probably be getting back to class.

I wanna go to SAB's IU day. Really hope Zully could reserve the tickets =/

At times like these

2010-06-10T13:39:00.000+08:00

I would love to have Boost.

Bear in mind

2010-05-11T22:19:00.002+08:00

If anything it’s a reminder that you can’t live your life holding grudges, with hate in your heart, being unforgiving. Life’s way too short, there’s way too many questions left unanswered, for us to fester and dwell on things that are completely unimportant in the long run.
William Beckett

One of the secrets of getting more done is to make a TO DO List every day, keep it visible, and use it as a guide to action as you go through the day.
Jean de La Fontaine

The whole world, including myself, seems to have one thing in common: we’re just a crowd of people who don’t really fit in anywhere, attempting to convince one another that we do.
Andrew McMahon.

I wish it could just be simple, like a retro pop song, “I want you to want me”. Boom. End of story. We all live happily ever after. But it’s never really like that, is it?
John Tucker Must Die

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for EXACTLY what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still gonna think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth stickin around.
Juno

It’s such a shame to waste time. We always think we have so much of it.
For One More Day, Mitch Albom

Okay, that last one hit me right in the face. Hmph.

Ho hum (:

2010-05-11T21:43:00.002+08:00

With that said [referring to my previous post], my life has been. Hmm. It has been a rocky ride, I suppose. I'm at night prep now, just so you know. I miss... a lot of people. I miss them very much. I wished I wished I wished I had enough time for everyone. Really. To spend ENOUGH time with all my beloved ones without them feeling left out. To catch up with my old friends. And yet to keep up with new ones.

It's all so .. twisted. Like, one wrong turn can lead to another. It's hard to make a U-turn and make it all fine again. But then, maybe things are meant to be this way. Maybe we're meant to mess up big time, lose those people you trust, so that you'll meet new people.

"Good things fall apart so that better things can fall into place"

But.. this doesn't mean I'm supposed to mess up.. numerous times with numerous people, right?

I'm over analysing. I should get on with life. Finals are next week. I have yet to study. Homework are still a bundle. God, what's wrong with me. Mom's going off to Japan for a 5-day holiday tonight. I'll miss her so much, but I hope she'll bring lotsa Japanese goodies :D

Okay I'm being random. Sue me. See if I give a crap.

Teacher's Day celebration is tomorrow as well. Ho hum. Busy with the preparations. I suppose. Sigh. Can't wait, for once, to be.. free. Like, really free. Nothing to worry about. But that's really up to one's mindset.

Hence,
I
shall
be
free
and
happy
always.

You'll see (:

I wonder..

2010-05-11T21:38:00.002+08:00

why all my blog posts has been all about you, lately.

hmm.

I can't describe this feeling. I'm attracted to you but I know I shouldn't be with you.
But at the same time - I know I should.
I mean, maybe not now.
Maybe someday.
Til whenever..

Gosh, how would I know, right?

All I know now, is that I feel like crap. We're so messed up, and you do realise that, right? I wished we could go back to the time when all these were still a secret. And the only ones who knew were you and me - I mean, back when we were just friends.

It's crap now. You're turning into something.. different. And I'm turning into the old me. I don't want that. I want the old you. And the new me. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes..

If this means letting you go, then let it be.
I don't know if this is for real.
I'll make sure.. it is.

To this certain someone (:

2010-04-29T22:29:00.002+08:00

Thank you for always being there,

for keeping up with me when I'm out of my tracks.

For knowing, deep inside, we'll make it,

for wanting,

for longing,

for loving.

This is for you

2010-03-25T22:04:00.002+08:00

Another post. Haha.

You came into my life at the moment it was falling apart.

Never saw you as more than what you were.

Never thought things could go as far as it did.

Never thought love was anything possible once more, when you showed me what I've been losing..

I am sorry for not being able to trust you wholeheartedly

If you had asked me to say so, I would be lying

I know you're not like him

I know you're here with good intentions

I see the sincerity in your eyes

But I just won't.. trust as easily as before.

Please know that I never want you to go

That this friendship, and everything else beyond friendship,

Is a part of me now,

a part of who I am.

You are a part of me now.

I'm sorry you always had to be there when I cried,

Always had to listen to my stories,

Of him,

and not of you.

I'm sorry I'm not making the best of the time we have left..

I'm sorry that I'm always afraid of what people would say..

I'm sorry it seems like I'm not making much effort..

But everything hurts me now. The littlest things. I'm so vulnerable with you. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to fall again. Because falling for you was the last thing I thought possible..

I should have thought better.

This is screwed up.

All I'm saying is..

I never want to lose you. But I can't give all of my trust to you.
But I mean everything I say.
I won't lie to you.
Cause.. you mean.. a lot to me.

& eff it, I don't know why :(

This Fear I Possess

2010-03-25T21:27:00.005+08:00

As I sat there, waiting for that person to answer the phone, I realised.. I have a certain fear..

I quickly pulled my phone away from my ears, not wanting to listen to that agonising dial tone. Afraid it would end with the operator saying "Sorry, the person you called is not available. Please try again later,"

Eventhough I know the people I call nowadays won't purposely reject my calls..

But still.. I'm afraid.

Of a turndown

Of rejection

I never want to feel again what I've felt like the past couple of months.

It's more than rejected phone calls.

It's rejected friendship.

Broken promises.

Major betrayal.

Massive heartbreak.

And I would never want anyone to feel that way.

To feel as if they have found the love of their life.

That one true soulmate.

Went through so much hardship to just.. hold on.

That one person you gave almost your EVERYTHING to.

That one person you thought you could count on for as long as you exist.

& that one person just..gone one day.

Fading more and more.

Distancing away.

And suddenly you're just out of sight, out of mind, out of their lives.

When they are still right there in that little corner of your heart.

That little corner they begged to be placed at, once upon a very fine time.

When you talk to people, they would just go.."Shit happens. Live with that. You'll find someone new," Okay. Fine. Yeah.

I did find someone. But I wished I found him before I was... this damaged.. this broken.. Because he would always need to cope with my past.
That past that still haunts me to this very day..

Sigh. Screw you, you. You motherfishcaker.
I wish you the best in life anyway..
And I pray that this new girl in your life..
She would make you happier than I have ever made you.
Please, don't do to her what you did to me.
Don't make promises you know is not possible to fulfill.

Just, don't .. damage anyone anymore.

Because right now,
I'm beyond repair

(:

2010-03-24T16:18:00.004+08:00

You,

You know, sometimes love isn’t fireworks. Sometimes, love just comes softly.
-Sarah Graham ; Love Comes Softly (2003)
and I love you :)

I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end.
- Drew Barrymore

I finally understood what true love meant…love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.

- Nicholas Sparks

http://fckerface.tumblr.com/

words , photography

I miss you. Eventhough you're right.. there
HAHA.
Okay this post is for you (:

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
-Neil Gaiman (The Kindly Ones)

quote-book.tumblr.com(:

i'm lost with you (:

2010-03-13T22:10:00.002+08:00

Hiee people (:

Exams just ended. UPSS1, namely. Woke up every morning at 4am. Was.. fulfilling. Sort of. There was this one night, I didn't go to night prep because I had a major headache. Ended up going back to my room after Isyak prayers and slept from 9pm til 11pm. (X Woke up, touched on Chemistry a TAD bit, before continued my sleep til 4am.

You should really see the size of my eyebags now. Seriously.

Ooh, we had the Cross Country the other day. I got number 25 for Perempuan Kelas Satu. Wahaha. I never actually took stuff like these seriously. I was just glad I did this time :D

Amier emerged as the number one for the race. It was pretty unexpected, but then again, I should've seen it coming. =.=

Red house roars!

Sime Darby -.-

Inter-class drama. We made it to the finals. But we only got the 4th placing. Which was okay, considering Babet wasn't there :( [Busy with his Azerbaijan stuff. Hmph. Pergi lah.. pergi xP] And also considering we only practiced once.. Never a full rehearsal though.. And our props.. Haha. We were still awarded the best script and the best actress was Jiha~ Obviously (X

SEM is over, baybeee. The teachers who were assessing Nazurah and I were Ustaz Hambali, Ustaz Azizul and Cikgu Amir. It was.. better than we expected it to be. In the end Ustaz Hambali said "Bagus bagus bagus" :DDD

So yes. Conclusively, life rocks. So far.

MRSM Tun Ghafar Baba emerged as the second ranked MRSM for 2009 SPM results, behind MRSM Taiping by only 0.015 GPS point [or whatever the new name is]. 9 people got straight A+ and 190 people got straight A's. Totally proud of my seniors (: Congrats to all of youu (x

TGB MJSC rocks lah.

Love you like crazy, TGB

Fairytale come true

2010-02-27T21:18:00.002+08:00

Everyday's a fairytale.

When you're around.

Heyy. I know, I haven't been updating. I'm sorry. Hahaha. I'm super lazy to update about the progress of my life. I've been super busy lately. School has been really awesome, though tiresome. Activity Week was REALLY TIRING. Sumpah I have never been that worn out gahhh.

Gladd it's over.

Class starts again :)

Blogging cos someone's been bugging me to update this blog. Hmm. No one has been tagging the board up there though. I'm a bit sad :( Please tag okay :)

What should I write? Tomorrow I'll be going back to school. Prolly very early because I would need to do my SEM with Nazurah. Gahh. Pictures.. The pictures of me are all scattered weh. People wouldn't upload them on Facebook T_T Screw them.

Haha you see, my blog is pretty useless now. I seriously don't know what to blog about..

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I'm letting go. I'm glad for all the pain I've managed to go through.

I'm super glad, that all the while, He was here with me.

I'm glad

you found me

Je t'adore mon cherie. Hope you're reading this.

English Camp '10 ROCKED!

2010-02-08T07:13:00.002+08:00

English Camp '10

ROCKED OUR SOCKS OFF

It was a 2 days one night camp, but even in such a short period of time, I've gained a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom (:
and fun! of course.

We were supposed to gather at the Dataran Cendekiawan by 7.40am. You know what time I woke up? 7.30am. It was Aisyah [I don't know why she was in my room in the first place?] who woke me up, asking 'Eh, syawal. Aren't u going to the english camp?' And I immediately threw my duvet away and went to take the quickest shower of my life. Thank godd I've packed my bags the night before, and in the end I was the first few ones to arrive at the DC. Wtf -.-

~~Thank God I realised I wore my pants invertedly before we pushed off~~

Then we arrived at the venue, Malacca Fruit Farm. We went to the Great Hall [it wasn't very Great, but at least they allowed the usage of air-cond! Whee] and started our activities immediatelyy.

I was one of the facilitators, along with Syaza, Syasya, Ainur, Khairul, Aiman, Buddy and Arif. We each have our own group to facilitate. My group was named 'Jovial Youngsters' cos that's what we are. XD Being a faci was fun, though a bit troublesome because every few minutes the teachers would call 'Okay, faci please come upfront' so that they can explain to us the rules and regulations of every game they're having. But it was seriously fun to help the teachers make English Camp '10 a huge success :)

The highlights of the camp were probably the jungle trekking and the night walk. Jungle trekking was so and so. It was okay. We sweat a lot. Like, so much. And we learnt how you can obtain water if you get lost in the jungle. From the roots of plants. And shiz.

And later that night, we started our night walk at around 11pm. I was so sleepy and cranky by the time we started. Wanted so badly to just get it over with. So I was one of the first few to volunteer to go. We had to walk one by one. Like, alone throughout the journey. Okay so I admitted I was scared the whole way because it was dark, no lights and all, and the place was surrounded by a jungle. There were loads of uninhabited houses too. Gosh.

I spotted 3 'ghosts'. One was just standing there, not doing anything. It was white so I spotted it from afar [even without my specs] and I just looked down, not daring to look at it. I thought it would jump and scare me or something but nah. It just stood there. Good ghost. -.-

Then when I approached a darker area where there were shady trees surrounding it, I saw 2 more 'ghosts'. One was white and the other was black. They were both wearing really ugly and really fake masks. The black one came from the left and the white one came from the right. I was pretty much trapped, so I actually had to shove the white one away. Hahaha. Sorryy.

Then I walked faster. The white one started to chase me. I couldn't help but to laugh, it was all so amusing. He tried to make ghost sounds. "Whooo~" HAHAHA tapi sumpah tak jadi ! HAHAHAHA. And I think I heard him laughing too lmfao. So I just said "Ish. Go away la. Byee byee thank you".

Khairul was soo scared he cried :p
[Okay I hope he doesn't read this MWUAHAHA]

Then I joined the others at the finish line. I was quite disappointed the whole thing didn't scare me so much.. But there were some people who screamed and cried "Allahuakbar!" countless times. Some people cried too. Maybe the 'ghosts' got more hostile after some practice. -.-

While we were waiting for everyone else to finish doing the night walk, Syaza, Syasya, Khairul, Aiman and I talked like nobody's business. We discovered some things about ourselves that neither of us knew before. And Khairul is such a loser omigod I cannotttt believe he is my boss T_T Syaza, now you know you should have trusted me when I told you how annoying he was. Haish.

& some people got itchy after a while for getting the 'hama ulat bulu' or some shiz. There were spots on their body suddenly and they couldn't stop scratching around. Including Syasya. Poor girl. but it didn't last that long anyway.

That night I slept at 3.15 am, after showering and after discussing with my group members about our masks [cos we were supposed to create masks for a masquerade. Sweat, right? They barely gave us anytime at all] and woke up at 6.40am.

The rest of the camp was.. indescribable.
During the award giving ceremony, at first, our group didn't get that many awards. We were a bit sad. But it's okay, I was confident we have won some of the activities. And it turned out we won MOST of the activities. When it came to the individual awards, they gave away Most Helpful Participants, Most Active, Most Sporting and Most Vocal to members from other groups. Was a tad disappointed because I thought my members were really pretty active. But then when it was time for Best Participant [Boy and Girl], both were from my group! It was awesomee.

and when it came to the Best Group, we thought we didn't stand a chance. Every other group seemed to shine brighter than us.
But then she announced "...Jovial Youngsters!"

so came the "Sambare.. Sambarewa! Who are we? Joviaaal Youngsterss!"

I swear that was the best part of the camp. Hahaha. Getting hampers (x

Lots of pictures were taken but none by my camera. It's okay. They're bound to put it on facebook and I shall demand my picture to be tagged. Yay (X

Oh, just so you know I'm like, at home now. Because I have dentist's appointment in a few hours. Can you imagine, when I just got off the bus from the English Camp, I already saw my parents' car outside my block? So I had to rushh rushh rushh. And there are so many things I have to attend to at college. Can't believe this is another week without Public Speaking on Monday. Dangg. Amier and Khairul are gonna kill me. [Or maybe not. You can always trick your bosses :p]

In another subject entirely,

I didn't mean to love you back but you know I did

to Farah Amira

2009-12-30T16:01:00.003+08:00

I've been wanting to do this. For a long time. Since last year. But I never had the guts, nor the will, nor the er, time to do it apparently. So yes. I shall.. proceed.

I don't know if you'd care to read this. But I pray that you do. Because.. well. I predict this will be quite long.

I don't care if you think I'm this sore loser who is just trying to patch things up because my friends are bugging me to. I'm not doing this for anyone else but myself. And for the sake of us, or what's left of us. Or what might be, in the future.

You can call me names, maybe now I'm the weaker one. Maybe I'm the one admitting defeat now. But whatever, I just cannot live in such pretense anymore.

I don't know where to start. So I'll just start from the beginning.

Today, I somehow felt like going through my past. So I did what I haven't done in so long - I read the scrap book you gave me for my birthday last year. My 15th birthday. You said that 2008 is a big year for us.. our 5th anniversary as BFFs, our PMR.. and yea, the year we fell out and stopped talking to each other.

I know by now what I did. I neglected you as a friend. I put my boyfriend before my bestfriends. It was wrong, but I didn't seem to notice at that time. Oh fook, this is harder than I thought it would be

It wasn't just you, of course. I fell out with a lot of my other best friends too, but I patched things up before it got worse. I don't know why I waited so long to patch it up with you. Maybe because I thought you needed more attention. And that shall be done after PMR. But when PMR came and ended, I still didn't have the guts to talk to you. I don't know why, maybe I just thought it was too late.

During the post-PMR days, when I was sitting with Razman, suddenly you came up to me and sat down in front of me. You started talking, after we haven't talked in so long - except for that one moment when I got all hyper and started hugging everyone including you, who just happened to be there, and I thought we were okay already, until we actually continued ignoring each other the next day. And then when we were in the middle of talking, the teacher called me and asked me to sort out the papers for the form fours, I think. I told you we'll talk later, but you stormed off to Stefira and cried.

I must've said some mean things that day. I was feeling really mean that particular day. Like, all these hatred I saved up inside just finally managed to wiggle themselves out of me. ~~Uhhuh, I don't really care if that wasn't grammatically right. Whatever.~~

Anyway.

So you said that the reason you're still not being friends with me is that, on that said day, I told you something along the lines of "Let's fake our friendship for the sake of the gang". I remember it now. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous. But now I remember why I said it. It was because you said it was impossible for you to ever treat me like a friend anymore, after such a long time of ignoring each other.

And I'm sorry. I am truly sorry. I apologise for whatever pain I might have caused you. For all the shits I've put you through. For all those times I couldn't think of anyone but myself. I was locked up in my own world. I admit I was a bitch to you. I was really mean, come to think of it.

And all these time I told my friends, your friends - our friends, that I don't miss you. Because the memories that I have of you are those when you were being totally annoying and arrogant and bitchy to me. But I forgot all those times when you were the only one there when I needed someone, I forgot that you were there to help make my day when everyone else had better things to do. I forgot that you went out of your way to help make my 15th birthday one of the best I ever had.

I thought that you had no more effect on me. That after a year, I would just forget about you. But I didn't. It would just be a phone call to an old friend and somehow your name would pop up. It's always like that. I don't think I'll ever be able to disregard you. You will always be that best friend I lost because I didn't try hard enough.

So now I am trying. To make it up, although this is nothing. Absolutely nothing compared to what I let you go through, alone. I am sincerely sorry. If this post did not touch you in any way and if you still refuse to talk to me and be friends with me again, then I bid you farewell. And good luck in life.

And know that, I am truly sorry.

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me

That was one of the song lyrics you included in the scrap book you made for me.

sometimes it's okay to cry

2009-12-30T15:30:00.002+08:00

Replies to tags :

Leila : Omg, she's familiar to u cos she used to be your classmate in CBN 2! If i'm not mistaken. LoL. What lah you.

Adibah: Umm. Like. Kom. See. Kom. Saa. Heh.

Janice: I knoww, I missed your presence on my tagboard :)

I can't fucking believe it. Oops, I'm sorry for the curse word but whatever. I'm in Big Apple right now. In JJ Wangsa Maju. All for Wi-Fi. -.- I was short of cash, hence the not going to Starbucks. Whatever, Starbucks eat moneyy. x(

Anyway. Some important things happened lately.

I just read my old diary. When I was in Form 2. The latest entries were mainly about him. Yes, him. Back when I had these crushes on him, and back when I was crushed because I thought , or rather, knew he couldn't have possibly had any feelings for me. But then there were entries about him falling in love with me, about us, becoming what we were. The most perfect of perfect. But even perfect couldn't keep that love alive

Two days ago you texted me. You were being unreasonable, I didn't comprehend you at all. I wondered where the guy I fell in love with went to. Where did he go? 'Cause I can no longer recognise him in you. You were not that person anymore.

We argued, we did what we do best with each other. I was happy - happy that you were texting me even though they were all just fights. That was how much I missed you. And then when you said you were leaving again, I couldn't just let you slip away again. So I stalled. I needed your answer to one last question of mine - Why did you do this to me? Why did you ignore me for so long? We could have been friends, but you denied me those rights.

You had no idea what you did to me. Til this very day I still cry at night. I still have suicidal thoughts - Nauzubillahminzalik. I still look in the mirror and notice something wrong about me. Something wrong - I couldn't quite point my finger to what. Probably that sparkle in my eye whenever you were around. You didn't know what you meant to me. You still don't know what you still mean to me.

And your answer to the question I asked just now, was I can't tell you why I did that. But I promise you one day you will find out yourself. And you went on with a normal conversation as if nothing happened before. They were small talks, but those small talks were apparently everything I ever wanted from you. We texted as friends, and it's okay because I cannot ask for more, that is what we agreed on. And today, we texted as closer friends and I am forever grateful to you for that.

I hope we will remain the way we are now. I don't want you to promise anything because.. Well, I know sometimes promises are just meant to be broken. It may not be your fault. Sometimes things are just meant to be that way.

I find it amazing how comfortable I am texting you. Like I am texting a long lost friend.

Anyway, this is by noo way everything I have to say. Because if I wanted to tell you what I feel right now, about you, about us, it would probably take up a whole book. So, yeah.

Eh, screw it. Big apple ramai gler orang now. Me no likey! :(

to the girls who looked past the nice guys

2009-12-19T12:11:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry
that i bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were
drunk

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was
raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an asshole

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to
talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am
when your new man hit you and dropped
you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me
when
I need a friend

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've
been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like
this
but don't care But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can ever do anything right, and
nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your bf with another girl and
told you about it, I thought that was
what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and
actually
meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on
Thanksgiving when your bf was
threatening you instead of spending
time
with my family.

I'm Sorry
That i cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talk
about
how you wish you could have done
something different.

Ladies always talk and talk to their
friends that there is never any good
guys out there, and they always end up
with assholes who mistreat them. Well
ladies next time you're talking about
this matter, maybe
look up to see who you're talking to,
maybe that special someone is right
there hanging on your every word as
usual, screaming in his head "Why won't
you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually
searching for is right by you.

just faulty manufacturing

2009-12-19T11:24:00.003+08:00

Fiena : Yay can't wait to see you guys! :)
Erin: Adaa, haha. Kat JJ Wangsa Maju.
Amier Idris: Hello =.= Is that the best thing you could come up with?
Ameer: Thanks ;)
Kenny: Haha aww thnks idiot. But it's not like I was the designer ;D

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
. i dont drink

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
. erm, boleh la

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
. me mam. yesh of cos

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
. eating breakfast LOL

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
. janice sayang

Last restaurant you went to?
. some seafood restaurant around Ipoh

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
. um. mazlan

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
. errrrrrrrr. comme ci comme ca. [and thats french for okayla]

Have you ever crawled through a window?
. durr haha

What do you spend most of your money on?
. um. food. HEE.

Where were you at 1AM sunday morning?
. on the bed, texting. lol

Ever kissed someone over 30?
. my parents

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
. haha YES SHH

Do you like yourself?
. no way . i love myself. CALL ME VAIN (X

Have you ever dyed your hair?
. never will

Are you wearing a necklace?
. dont like em much. just like buying em at Diva's . haha

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
. A girl

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
. Maybe..

Are you an emotional person?
. Very

What's something that can always make you feel better?
. My friends

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
. Hell naw

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
. Yes -.-

How's your heart lately?
. Haa. It's.. healing

Are you a cuddler?
. Yesh (:

Will this weekend be a good one?
. Uhhuhhh. Meeting themmm

What do you want rightn ow?
. Those I love near me

Who can always cheer you up?
. Who , eh? Banyak la sayang

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?
. HAHA. You wish

Who hugged you last?
. Mama

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
. Eh. Yea. He gave me. And that baju is sangat sangat comfy. Still wear it eventhough I hate the previous owner

Are you a kissable person?
. Mwahs haha yea i think so (X

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
. Yea :(

What is your relationship status?
. Married to Syafiq Noorhalim.
ROFLMFAO

Who was the last person to come to your house?
Ermm. Relatives

Look behind you, what do you see?
. Er. You O.O

How many rooms does your house have?
. 4 je

Have you ever worked in a food place?
. Never worked

What would you name your future daughter?
. Well. I'll have to rethink :(

Who and where was the last concert you went to?
. Never went to one. *virgin*

Whats on your schedule for tomorrow?
. Pavi with them

The last song you heard?
. Ehh. hahaha. some classic on the tv

What do you think of love?
. Love .. a fragile thing, indeed.

Do you still talk to any of your ex's?
. Not reallyyyy.

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what?
. Rice. For freaking reaaal!

Have you dated anyone on your top 4?
. Hahahahah. All of em? LOL

Has your number 2 on your friends ever made you cry?
. Rarawr? Nah :)

Describe your bestfriend?
. They are .. amazing :')

Who was the last person to touch you?
. Hahaha mama kott

How did you and your number 1 become friends?
. Well, we were both late for PJ during standard 2. and we were talking how much we hated that class. then TA-DAA! Best friends til now :D

How late did you stay up last night and why?
. Haha. Til 2 am je. Texting ;)

What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
. Um. Best friends. Nothing more

Do you like someone?
. I like you :)

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an S?
. Goshh. Eventho me and Syafiq are married, we havent really done much. :p

How's your life lately?
. Pretty good

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
. ... Something to regret

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
. Yes, my dear. It still hurts.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
. Single

Have you ever flirted with a friends crush?
. Yea. Main2 je la.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
. I used to

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
. No.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
. Mazlan, I told you

To text you?
. Classified ;p

To send you a myspace message?
. Iman i think

To send a friend request?
. Err tak ingat

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
. Yours? *wink wink*

Do you miss anyone?
. EVERYONE

What does your 8th text message say and who was it from?
. Die first then I'll tell your corpse

What are you listening to?
. TV

Seven days from now will you be in a relationship?
. Nope. ... I hope not.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
. I can't remember any except one.

What do you notice first about a guy?
. The eyes

Something interesting happen lately?
. Um. I just got facebook married. -.-

Where is the person you like right now?
. Somewhere over the rainbow

Last time you took a shower?
. Baru je hehe

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
. Sleeping

When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?
. Seemed ages ago

Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
. In ipoh, my kg. Hmm. I wanna go home?

Did you have a good birthday this year?
. I was emo for no reason. But it ended up nice :)

Do you chew on your straws?
. Used to

Do you lead people on?
. I think I may flirt unconsciously at times =x

Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't do?
. I think soo

Last person you cried over?
. Him

Do you cry easily?
. I didn't use to.. But now I do

Are you a heavy sleeper?
. Yes.

What does the seventeenth text message in your inbox say?
. "Urm. Malas r nk ckp.. sbb bnyk pasal ex ko. hehe kdg2 aku curi2 tgk novel ko. =p tak faham pun" Gagagagagagg.

Do you want to be married right now?
. Hahahaha. Yes, actually -.- Just dont know with who. HAHA.
Oh wait. I'm married ady -.-

What do you usually do first in the morning?
. "Ugh"

You're in the hospital, who on your TOP friends would come to visit you?
. Zully fo sho!

What's something you're scared of?

Name some of the people you love?
. Zullly, janice, kenny, syafiq, iman, hariz, athira.. and that's just to name a few :)

What's your favorite color?
. Purple.. but I don't know now

Do you wish someone would call you?
. Yes. So much. I miss you.

Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
. Heart breaker. But now I'm the heart broken. Serves me right

Is there a meaning behind your profile song?
. Yes..... But I'm still unsure about my feelings =/

Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
. Yes

Who was the last person you were mad at?
. Bajak kot? haha

What is the last song to make you cry?
. Erm. Leona Lewis 'Better in Time

What do you miss?
. Old times

Do you give out second chances too easily?
. I may have

Ever felt that no one relates to you?
. Yes

Of Art & Boost

2009-12-13T16:01:00.006+08:00

Hello, invisible readers (:

And welcome new followers :D

I know - I haven't been updating lately. It's probably because life has taken the best of me these past few days. Or has it, really? Life has been a little exciting and dull at the same time. But even at the most dull of times, I feel content with life as it is now. Like, right now I'm in my brother's room, sweating because I'm too lazy to get up and switch on the air-cond, but I am pretty happy already. Happily content. Isn't that what we try to accomplish everyday, anyway?

Last Friday I went out with Syaza Ramli. Nazurah and Aqilli couldn't make it, no transport :(. But the day turned out to be quite unexpected when we bumped into Aqmar! So the three of us spent the day admiring Art and most of all, Boost. Oh, yums. Lunch at Chilli's was amazing, too. Who could've guessed the peculiar beauty of bottomless food will leave us too full - yet asking for more :DD

& it's never a waste to spend RM2 per entry into a toilet that weren't much different from the free ones - given you REALLYYY need to go. Which I did. & who in the name of heavens would've thought that the Designer Floor was on the 1st floor, not on the 2nd floor? Ah well. The whole of KLCC was filled with designer shops, anyway.

We roamed the KLCC park. It had a warmth to it. Like, you've been lost all these while and you've found that place of solace you used to visit in your dreams. I never forgot what happened on the grass of that particular park. Well, promises are made to be broken. And memories will fade away. I'll just promise myself that it will get better in time.

Er, right. I was in a trance there. Anyway. We took lots of pictures with Aqmar's SLR camera. They both had it, so I was the only one terpinga-pinga on how to use it. Eventhough I practically went to a camp, learning about cameras and videos. God, I'm such a useless brat -.-

Oh, and I forgot to mention I brought along my sister's iPod Touch, because I would be riding the LRT alone and my iPod Shuffle sucked. And Syaza has an iPod Touch too. And when we bumped into Aqmar, we realised he has one too! So we were like comparing apps and they were all pretty much the same, haha. All the free aps lah hehe. Except obviously theirs have waaaay more capacity than my sister's.

That day was my first time entering the Petronas Gallery at Level 4, if I'm not mistaken. I was bedazzled - and Syaza and Aqmar seemed familiar with the place. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Syaza and I watched Princess and the Frog too before lunch. It was OMIGOD so adorableeee♥. I never get tired of Disney movies. They're endlessly entertaining. :)

After taking the stroll around the park, it started to drizzle. And Aqmar's mom called him because they were heading home already. By that time it was almost 5pm. Syaza was taking the LRT back with me, and she had this thing about the 5 o'clock crowd. A phobia, I suppose. I don't blame her, haha. So we took the train back at the earliest I've ever went back. And my parents didn't expect me to be back so fast, so Syaza and I went to Starbucks in JJ while waiting for them.

The outing really turned out to be quite different from the rest I've had so far. Hee, thanks Syaza and Aqmar for a wonderful time (:

At Chilli's with Syaza's cousin and siblings.
A photograph can only potray a thousand laughter.
Aww one happy family ;DD

Dah macam suami isteri + son dah haha
The bottomless Nachos.

Sumpah bottomless.

And we didn't even refill !

In the park (:
& again
I think this picture is pretty.
We're tiny people!

Our pride and joy, huh?

today's gonna be a good day

2009-12-10T13:39:00.006+08:00

WATCH THAT VIDEO!

HAHA. HILARIOUS.

And no, that girl is not some loose lunatic. Aweeesomeee :)

Anyway so, yesterday, I cooked! Really I DID ! :D Chicken soup, heee. But the malay way lah. Used sup bunjut Adabi. Ngehe. And okay, mum cleaned and chopped the chickens. But heck, I did most of everything else! :D ~~With mum's close supervision of coursee~~

And dad loved it! He did :D
And then sis came home and tasted it and said it was tasteless >.>
It was NOT! She just came home too late lah haiyoo.

Then last night my parents went to this seminar thingy, to hear a talk abt breast cancer so they can brief potential customers about the benefits of products by Alken. Ah, they're into Multi-level Marketing. Long story. But heck it was in Klang Lama, and agesss awayyyy. I got lazy to go :(

So alternatively, I had to follow my sister. And she was going to the gym in Wangsa Walk [the famous new Celebrity Fitness. OVERRATED i should say] with Azhar. I think Azhar's pretty used to seeing my face tagging along everywhere they go. Ngee, he has to get used to me anyway. I'll be his newest annoying younger sister-in-law ;D
~~Omg I cannot wait for them to get married and give me a CUTE NIECE/NEPHEW ADY! I'd be the best aunt yayy!~~

Anyway -.-

The gym was pretty full by the time we got there. Well, the treadmills were all in use at the time anyway. And that was the only thing they wanted to do, run =.= And I was so looking forward to finding a bookshop in Wangsa Walk [is there any?] or just browse the shops for fun, simply. But awwww the gym's full dang it.

Then Kak Yin and Azhar wanted to go for badminton, and they rang up their usual badminton place but the courts were fully booked til like, 11 pm. So then Azhar and I, almost simultaneously suggest "BOWLING!" So we headed to KKlub in Melawati. The guy at the counter let us in easily enough, then we were shocked to find the Bowling Alley closed. ZZZ. The guard sucks.

Oh, and we saw an advertisement for a paintball match at Kklub.
Firstly, they had "Cuba-cuba" package
Then they had "Suka-suka" package
After that it's the "Sudah suka" package
& finally there's there "Ramai-ramai" package.

Mula-mula, cuba-cuba saja. Lepas itu suka-suka pula. Bila sudah suka, kita panggil ramai-ramai main sama-sama.

=.=

Okay, I woke up quite late today. Or, early. I don't know. You tell me. At around 9.55 am. I refused to wake up immediately cos mom told me she and dad would be out to the hospital. So pretty much I was home alone. And the next door house was full of Indonesians renovating the house. Talk about the noiseeee. So I pulled up the comforter to cover my face. Ran straight to the laptop and went online. Haih.

Anyway I just realised I'll never forget the dude. But in a way I'm glad it ended, because if it hadn't, I would've never gotten close with the people I am close with now.

To Razman;
I know you too well.
You can't fool me.
Not ever.

broken strings

2009-12-08T19:31:00.002+08:00

James Morrison ft Nelly Furtado

But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

xoxo

Avalanche

2009-12-08T18:31:00.003+08:00

Replies to tags:

Fiena : Coming over on the 23rd. So I'll see ya then. Though I'm pretty sure Syafiq told you? :)
Leila : I didn't exactly make a new blog. I only changed the url. It's still my old blog, with a new name and new look :D. Suits my personality? What exactly is my personality like? =/

Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally?
- well he's done that, so im pretty much.. immune to him already.
just let bygones be bygones

Do you like to cuddle?
- yes, i am guilty as charged

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?
- not even in the nearby future

Have you ever kissed someone who smokes?
- no way

Do you cry easily?
- lately, yea

Who have you been with most of the day?
- my parents. I just got back from Ipoh! :D

Are you excited for anything?
- Singapore. Meeting syafiq and fiena D:

Do you like anyone?
- Yes i do. You! And that person behind you :p

How are you feeling right now?
- Im good.

What should you be doing right now?
- Haha. Not online fo sho

How do you think this day will be?
- The day's almost over, twilight's arriving.
But I think tonight will be just as spectacular as every other night Ive been through lately (:

Have you ever been used?
- If I have, then Ive been oblivious towards it

Are you afraid of getting your heart broken?
- Not anymore.
Been there one too many times

Who did you last ride in a car with?
- My parents

Who was the last person you spoke to through your cell?
- Kak Yin

When was the last time you watched a horror movie?
- Last night with my cousins. On youtube but it kept getting stuck.

Did you have any unread messages when you woke up today?
- Yes.
Someone fell asleep while texting yesterday.
:p

Have you ever broken anyone's heart?
- I dunno. You tell me

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- LoL. I hope not =x

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
- Naw. Of course not

Are you ticklish?
- I suppose

The person you 'like' runs up and kisses you, what do you do?
- O.o
*kisses that person back*
heh

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
- yea. its just the percentage that I'm worried about.

If somebody liked you, would you want them to tell you?
- No, keep it to yourself. Please.

What's the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?
- A holy matrimony.
Ugh. Seriously. Go get married already.

Is there anyone you wish you could be spending time with right now?
- Loads :)

Who was your last text from?
- Awad the Wawadd.

Why did you say sorry the last time you did? And to who?
- Awad. For replying him late? =.= Cos I slept in the car.
OKAY SO I SLEEP WHEN IM IN THE CAR, PERIOD.
Old habits die hard. Sheesh.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn't around now?
- Isn't that a bit obvious

Can you commit to one person?
- Without a doubt

Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
- No regrets. And he's right. It's for our own good.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
- I do believe.
But I have yet to see it proven

tranquility

2009-12-04T13:00:00.004+08:00

masya-Allah. even the nature remembers Allah.
But why do we forget?

If only I didn't forget ..
But then again, I am only human..
:(

If only
Honestly : I'm scared out of my wits right now.

Tick Tock

2009-12-04T10:44:00.007+08:00

replies to tags:

madihah : HEHE thanks :D
ezreen : huhu. i'm just trying my best. tak ada apa2 sangat pun ni..
qilli : thanks dearie :)
ZULLY ! : hahaha. i love YOU!
fhh : happy hols to you tooo (: and thanks!

stolen from Syai hehe

If something was wrong, who is the first guy you would go to?
- Since Kenny's always so busy, Syafiq I guess.
and sometimes Bajak. or Awad.
depends on the situation really. They've helped me loads..

Think back, your last ex, do you still have feelings for that person?
- I need to poop =x

Ever made a girl cry?
- Yes -.- I am sorry, but you deserved it.

Have you ever taken a chance, and regretted it?
- Not really.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love?
- Doesn't really matter

Do you care what people think about you?
- Yeah but after sometime I learn not to care so much..

Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?
- Yea tapi takdela sampai berkecai

If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for?
- Heaven

Can you play pool?
- Naw.

Would you ever camp out on a beach, under the stars?
- That'd be sweet

Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?
- Yes (:

Do you think you've changed over the past year?
- Here and there

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
- Not really, no

Think a lot before you fall asleep?
- Ohmygod. It was almost impossible to fall asleep last night. Thank god Zully and Sheril were still online! Oh, and Syai too (:

Do you miss the way things used to be?
- No looking back, dear :)

Was last night terrible?
- No, not at all :)

What should you be doing?
- Packing my bags to go back to kampung
*Oh right, the trip's been postponed by the way. From yesterday to today.
Cos I was having a fever and all.

Describe how you feel right now in one word?
- Mixed up.
Oops, that's not really one word? Haha.

Are you scared of anything?
- Loads. I'm human

Your phone gets stolen, who stole it?
- Haaaa. Er. Some nasty idiot

What's your mother's name?
- Che Azizah @ Che Badariah bt Saad.
I know, lengthy.
but its normally jst Azizah Saad, so.. -.-

What's your mother's mother's name?
- Che Amah bt Johan. XD

Are the two of them friends?
- Yes. LoL.
My grandma is SO CUTE when she laughs.
Especially when she's not wearing her fake teeth.
Adorable <3

Are you drunk?
- Nope

When is the next time you will see any of your siblings?
- Like, i'm seeing one now. Kak yin. Annoyingggg.
But I love her. HEE
Shh don't tell her.

Does anyone know a really deep and dark secret about you?
- Yes. Heh
Keep it safe, dear (:

Are you hungry?
- No

What about sad?
- Not anymore

Are you tired?
- Just woke up, feeling quite good. Not tired -.-

How long before you'll be on a plane next?
- A few more weeks. to Singapore.

Are you in love with your number one?
- Yes(:

Do you think about sheep?
- Favourite smelly animal
Besides cats tht is

Are you alone?
- Nope. Sister. beside me.

Have you found someone you can trust?
- Uhhuh

Look outside, how's the weather?
- Rainy and dull.

Any pets?
- Nope.
Petsis ade la aha

Do you own your own car?
- Soon will.
XD
Nah, not realy

Do you own a lighter?
- Nope

Do you prefer pasta salad, or coleslaw?
- Coleslaww

You've locked yourself outside and no one will be home for a few hours you?
- Oh. Walk to the nearest public phone and call any family members.
Or just .. er. walk to Ezreen's house kot? Hahaha. macam I ingat her house is where?

Have you ever punched a wall, door, etc?
- Eh, mustve been a long time ago kalau ye pun

Well okay.
Mother nature's calling.
XD

Things aren't as they seem

2009-12-03T19:58:00.007+08:00

People change

So relationships change, too.

Yeah, me and him, we ended it. Long story short; it's for our own good. Neither of us deserved the other, and we're better off without each other anyway. Really.

But that doesn't mean I'm off to find another hunky guy ;) ~~This heartache hasn't quite been cured yet~~ But you know, if he think's i was about to crumble and die well, he thought wrong. I have like, such amazing friends. It's quite funny how God takes away one person from you then gives you many, many more people to love in your life. (: ~~Though i'm not saying he is ever replaceable~~. Actually you know what, he might just be. Replaceable.

Whatever, honestly.

Let's just look at the happier side of things. :)

I went out with Iman the Cutesypie ;p on her bday, 1st December. To Pavi & KLCC, as usual. LoL. Watched New Moon again. Bought her a reaaally pretty necklace at Diva [she chose! lol] and went camwhoring in Forever 21. Eventhough it was clearly stated that we weren't allowed to share changing rooms nor were we allowed to bring cameras into the said rooms. But heck, do we give a fush anyway? :p

Oooh and I've been meaning to upload pics from my day out with Zully the Schmully ;D but I kept procrastinating. I should just upload some here ;)

All the pics were taken in Forever 21. LOL. I've a thing for F21. It's like, the awesomest <3

The last pic, if you didn't notice, was taken in front of a rack filled with undies. LOL. They're so cuuteee though. But LOL. Undies from Forever 21? What a luxury !

Don't make me choose, cos it'll be him. It's always been him

Fuhh

2009-12-03T17:14:00.002+08:00

New skinn. Hope you like it better than the previous ones ♥

Anyway, replies to the tags;

erin: oh tidak. baru sekali. tu pun sem 1 je pown :(
leila: no im nott hardworking lah, just trying to make something out of my old self :/
qilli : aww qilli sayang.. the last exam was really hard.. maybe we did put a lot of effort into it..but maybe we did that the last minute.. and maybe we didnt pray hard enough..Allah knows what's best for you, and for now, this is wat's best for u. maybe sbb u dpt results camni, spm 2010 nnt u get straight A+ . XD amiin
mazlan : yea, well, that's what ive been trying to share with you semalam before you merajuk wit me for no apparent reason.

Omigoshh I'm going back to Ipoh today. Just a pit stop before continuing to Kedah. :(

Aww man. Just when my love for you was about to rekindle again, bloggie. Then we're pulled apart from each other. Sobs.

Sometimes
we just need to learn
to forget

i LURVE Islam

2009-12-03T12:09:00.005+08:00

was browsing through www.iluvislam.com and omgg it's such an awesome websitee (:

okay maybe i'm new with these stuff, but i'm really trying my best.

check out these awesome stuff weh ;)

Laa Tahzan

2009-12-02T16:20:00.004+08:00

Laa Tahzan [ Do not be sad

something to make myself feel better. don't know what happened to me, just lost all sense of living lately. until i remember Him and I feel much better :)

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and God will certainly know those who are true from those who are false.

- Al- 'Ankabut : 2-3

So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith.

- Ali-Imran : 139

But if they turn away, Say: "God sufficeth me: there is no god but He: On Him is my trust,- He the Lord of the Throne (of Glory) Supreme!"

At-Taubah : 129

On no soul doth God place a burden greater than it can bear.

Al-Baqarah : 286

Fear not,for He is always watching over you.

www.iluvislam.com (:

Fall from grace

2009-11-28T11:52:00.003+08:00

I've always thought, well, it's okay if I don't get the results I wanted. The perfect 4.00 again for my GPA.

I'd console myself, saying that God just wants to test you. God doesn't want you to be overconfident in yourself. God wants you to work harder next time, not to just take it all for granted. God wants you to pray harder.

God wants you to be better.

But you know, I never thought I'd actually have to console myself.

I didn't ge a 4.00. I don't know my pointer yet but heck, I know I got a B+ for my BM. You know what, screw the + sign, it's still a B nonetheless.

But okay. I was right. I should follow my own advice ~~for once~~.

Every cloud has a silver lining

I'll wait for the day the sun would shine down on me again. But for now I'd just have to work harder and never procrastinate anymore.

To those who have been there for me through this sick period of anticipation, thanks, a gazillion shmckabillion thanks. You know who you are

Surah 103. Al-‘Asr
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

1. By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),
2. Verily Man is in loss,
3. Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy.

exams, almost over

2009-11-16T12:56:00.002+08:00

Dead and Gone

Is most probably what this blog is about to come to. Aehee. [no idea what sound that is]

Anyway, I'm facing my finals exams right now. So don't be surprised if you see me next time and I'm all eye-bagged and pimpled from all the stress.

GAH.

Bio was a total disaster!

The night before, I slept at around 12 am. Which was considered early because we had exams the next day. But then I woke up at 3 am to study. Then I studied til 6.30 am and went to sleep til 6.50 am. Like, 20 minutes of sleep. O.o

I didn't feel that sleepy after that. Just a bit lightheaded but what to do. Had to go for exams anyway, right? Then during Bio Paper 1, which was objective questions only, I noticed a pattern when I was answering the questions. I'd skip one question after I answered one [but not just because I wanted to. It was cos I wasnt sure of the answers lah. ] then by the time I was at question 49, suddenly I fell asleep. And the next thing I knew, I woke up when everyone was walking forward to the teacher's table to hand in their papers.

The time was up and I didn't finish answering the questions weyhh!

So I did the only thing I was left to do - just circled any answers I deem reasonable.
Then I cried my heart out. ~~[without anyone seeing, of course]~~

How could I have been so.. *sigh*

Nevermind, no more regrets (: Now I don't sleep too late nor do I wake up too early, and I think amazingly, I could answer the questions better.

So yes, get your sleep people.

Sleep is gooooood XD

P/S: Coming home soonish! (:

~~Forever 21, here I comeeeeeeee!~~

LOVE !

2009-10-18T18:35:00.006+08:00

I love Froggy, so much.

sigh.

I just watched two of the best love movies of all time, that I've longed to watch for a long time now.

A WALK TO REMEMBER

Landon: I might kiss you.
Jamie: I might be bad at it.
Landon: That's not possible

&

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful".

&&

THE NOTEBOOK

Young Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me. I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late.
Young Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year.
Young Allie: You wrote me?
Young Noah: Yes. It wasn't over. It still isn't over.
[kisses Allie]

&

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.

Class 411 rocks

2009-10-16T20:20:00.008+08:00

411 ROCKS!

Whee, took lotsa pictures the last time, all credits to Hani for these ;D [& I stole some from Jujue's blog jugak!]

These pics were in the garden in front of our Physics Lab. Hee, our Physics teacher was absent that day ;)

Hani, Atie, Me

Ooooh, a birdd!
Naw, it's a plane!

Nawwww, it's SUPERSYAWAL.

-.-

Control cun seh sume :p

Now this was during the Jamuan Raya by PRS!

Semua menggedik & membajet XD

Lawa kan my class hehe

RAYA MUNNYY :D

this pic looks SO wrong haha

Everyone was busy running around, yet me and shu were still in dreamland :p

Everyone had one ketupat with their name ;)

Wonder what was so funny.
HAHA love Atie muchymuchy.

Hilmi says : Fly, ketupat, flyyyy

The boys semangat to anyam the ketupats! LoL

Wheeee (:

And the ones Fakhira were holding, she didn't make ANY of it.

I bought them :P

We decorated this together-gether (X

~~Omg can't believe I'm in this pic~~

CAKE FINALLY GETTING CUT

wooots. yummeh

Aww (:

Comel !

Class 411 2009/511 2010
One big happy family (:

am HOME! :D

2009-10-16T19:51:00.003+08:00

I ish back home now cos my school hash holidaysh for Deepavaliishh :D

wheeeeeshhhh!

Heesh XD

Anyhows, back to a more serious matter. This is something I thought I should conceal, for fear of well, you'll find out soon. Just keep reading. You know I came back to my school on Monday the last time we had holidays, which was one day later than I shoul've came back. But I had my reasons of course, dentist's appointment. And the wardens knew that already [I had a letter!] So I was shocked when I heard my name was announced and called to the warden's room that night. I thought, well, maybe they didn't know about my approved letter.

But when I entered the warden's room, Ustaz Azizul [the ketua warden. Sorta like a more funny, younger, version of Mr Tan. Get wat I mean? Oh. And malay, and religious of course -.-] was like.. Okay I forgot his own words, but he was like trying to calm me down before he told me the news. I think I knew what it was about, cos the other kids said that he mentioned something about it at the surau [but I was already in my dorm by then] so yea.. then he suddenly spilled it out.

I was positive H1N1.

Yeappp. Can you believe it? I knew I couldn't. It was so unbelievable, I didn't even cry. I chuckled instead. And I actually misunderstood what he said, cos later he told me that the Jabatan Kesihatan of Jasin are gonna come the next day to run some more tests. So I was like.. "So, am I really positive?" and his reply was "Setakat ni la, ye." His uncertainty lead me to one conclusion : I was only suspected positive.

Soon after he told me that, another girl whose name was also called came in, and her eyes flooded as soon as she heard the news.

Well, it appeared as something shocking to us both as we were, at the time, not sick at all anymore. No flu, no fever, no headaches, no sore throats, nothing.

The next day, the Jabatan Kesihatan came, but not to run tests on us, but only to ask questions regarding our wherabouts, before and after we got infected. They wanted to know where we got it from, and to whom we might have spread the disease to.

That was when they told us we've recovered fully. And that we're safe now, and we don't need to worry because the virus will only attack once. Our bodies have depeloped antibodies to fight them off. So yeah.

Of the 5 people discovered to be positive, I was the only form four, by the way. There were 3 other form 5 girls, and another form 5 guy. Only Allah knows how this could be.

I find it reckless that they told us that we're positive only after the school break ended. After the RAYA holidays, when we go EVERYWHERE to meet EVERYONE. I wonder who else I might have caused pain to :(

Anyway this is not a sad post. I have only told you what happened when I discovered that I was positive. I didn't tell you how it felt like to be infected by it.

It felt.. god. It started the night our UPSS 2 ended. I suddenly felt lightheaded and fainty. I thought it was only because I was tired, all those sleepless nights of studying. But I guessed wrong. That very night my temperature rose. The next day it got worse. I stayed in bed during fardhu ain, when everyone else had to clear the block and go to the surau.

My whole body ached. Say I was enthusiastic about something, the fever pulled me so down that I lost every bit of my enthusiasm for it. Malin was so sweet to have put a wet towel on my forehead to relieve the fever. That night I went to the hospital. My fever was getting better. Another girl who went to the hospital with me had to be given drips, cos her temperature was too high.

Well, little did I know I was the dangerous one.

The next week when my fever healed, but only came back occasionally, some people from the Jabatan Kesihatan came and asked everyone who had the syptoms for H1N1 to come and see them for tests. Resultantly I had to break my fast, 2 days in a row - it was still Ramadhan that time. Come to think of it, thank god I broke my fast for the test. Otherwise, I would have never known.

So yeah, I had H1N1 and recovered from it without my knowing it at all. I knew where I got it [or suspected to have obtained it from] and I knew to whom I've infected, but that matter is probably best left known only to a few people. I really didn't think it could be that at all. But now I am healthy again.

Thanks to Allah, for giving me a chance to feel the pain of the diseased.
And thanks to Allah, for giving me the blessings of health.

someday we'll know

2009-09-26T16:26:00.004+08:00

you know how much i hate blogging when i'm supposed to.
and how much i love to blog when i'm not supposed to.
so i guess that is the most explanation you would get for my absence :p

and yes, if you're lucky i'll upload raya pics. right now no mood lah.

oh yeah, btw
I HATE MY NEW HAIRCUT.

It's like, ohmygod.
sangat sangat buruk i can't even.
BEGIN.
to DESCRIBE.
How much I HATE IT.

I told her, 1 inch, layered and a front fringe

Like, simple enough right?

But but but. Ugh god. I look like a freaking hippie right now

But I don't blame her, I guess. Never have I been to a hairdresser who asked as much questions as she did, just to make sure I was okay with my hair.

BUT HOW WAS I TO KNOW IT WAS ACTUALLY LIKE THIS?!
Ah well. I got over it an hour ago.~~After shouting and screaming and cursing in front of the mirror and at my sister for laughing so hard~~
Hair will grow.
Grow, hair grow!
~~I wear tudung anyway so it doesn't matter soo much~~

So like, I was doing an assignment from Ms Sha for Golf Club. I have to do 5 pages on Famous Golfers in History and for some goddarned reason I thought of blogging so here I am :D

So you see, don't tell me to blog. Instead, tell me not to blog, barulah I blog. Hehee.

Heck, I was browsing through my old photobucket album a few days ago and came across something. I think I might have posted on my blog but well, saja je nak tunjuk you guys again. ~~Since I must've spent ages on it!~~

Don't mind the ugliness of the pics, pleasee.
I did this when I was young and naive! T_T

The last pic of me, in front of a smart car was my absolute favourite pic. That was seriously my dreaam carr! Shoo prettyy (: Unlike the smart cars in Malaysia! Hmph.

Ah the good old travelling days.

:'(

HOME

2009-09-18T22:39:00.003+08:00

home sweet home! (:

finally HOME, babyy.

I just got back home from the surau. Last night of terawih, so I decided to do 20 rakaat of terawih prayers. Only because my parents were staying anyway, so I just follow lah kan.

This year's Ramadhan was better than most. Perhaps the best I've experienced, but it is still not as good as I had hoped it to be. Sometimes I can't believe my foolishness got the best of me at times. Only Allah knows what I mean, and only he will decide if I am to be forgiven or not.

Anyway, on the 23rd night of Ramadhan, there was a Qiamullail held by BADAR at college. It started at 4 in the morning, but everyone had to wake up by 3.30 am to get ready and stuff. At around 3.05 am, I was suddenly awoken by the strong wind which had burst open the door. When I had looked at my watch, I thought to myself it's still early so I decided to doze off for a little bit. The moment my head hit the pillow, the door slammed shut. That, was eerie.

And then at around 3.30 am again I was awoken, but this time by the shouts of Kak Hayati, telling everyone to wake up and get ready for Qiamullail. After waking up my roomies and getting ready and stuff, we all ensembled at the surau. The qiamullail was a simple one, 2 rakaat of solat sunat tahajjud, 2 rakaat of solat sunat taubat, and 4 rakaat of solat sunat hajat. simple but the effect was overwhelming, i daresay. the imam that night was the same penceramah who gave the talk that night about Nuzul Quran. He was really funny, yet he has deep knowledge of the religion.

When he recited the doa' at the end of the prayers, everyone was moved and I could tell everyone's eyes were filled as he read the doa' with such feelings of tawadu' and taqwa. Right then and there I could feel the sweetness of iman. Something I longed for, for as long as I could remember. Alhamdulillah I could felt it. eventhough I know I have sinned in this holy month, He stil gave me that chance. I really hoped that night was Lailatul Qadr - I could feel it, but only God knows.

All we can do
is hope.

Hello, world

2009-09-04T15:52:00.002+08:00

Hello, world

I have a headache. I am moody. I glare at people when they pass by. My whole body hurts.

Not good, I know.

:(

Anyway, on the brighter side :) you know i've been complaining how much i hated coming back to school? Well, it's not so bad anymore. Especially now that it's ramadhan. We have to break fast at the Dewan Selera in our respective classes. Which is really pretty awesome.

And I just realised that my classmates are funn. I mean, I guess I've noticed that ages ago, but now I've just started to appreciate it :)

But of course there a certain arses in every class lah kan. I just resort to ignoring them. Whee.

Oh, crap. Can't hide it. Am in such a bad mood now.
~~Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.~~
Okay ignore that.

Anyway nureeeen texted me last night, and I was like "Eh whose number is this?" LoL. M&M! Gosh I've missed her. She just found out I was in a boarding school. Called her and we talked for ages.

Then called Hariz and talked for ages too. He is not as alim as I thought he was, hmph. ~~Maybe I am even more alim than him.~~ HAH. [Lamest joke of the year!]

Gosh I wish I had never lost contact with any of my friends. There's a reason why I was their best friend in the first place. And there is no reason why we shouldn't stay the way we were, forever. *sobs*

And obviousy I called Razman tooo

I know what you're thinking ; Wah so much credits ar this girl. Heh, topped up RM30 last monday and strangely enough a considerable amount still exists. OMIGOSH. Totalle awesomeness. ~~I can text and call and text and text and call and call.~~

Er, ignore that too =/

And the other day I was going through YouTube and downloading all the songs I wanted to put in my iPod [but to no avail! Okay diff story nvm] and suddenly remembered The Fray and I simply loveee all of their songs. Just soo, THE FRAY ISH LAH. And I told Syafiq that they're my favouritest [no such word, but I jst wanna use it in my BLOGGIE WOGGIE - a term which also does not exist -, is there a problem with that?] BAND IN THE WORLDDDD.

Okay, I might have been exaggerating a little.

Then Janice texted me today and told me she loved The Fraaaaay ! See? We're true soulmates aww :P

Sighhh, moving on to a new, sadder topic. Kakda left for London alreadyyy :( My parents are there with her for 10 days, to help her get a place to rent and adjust herself there a bit. I wanna gooo thereee at the end of this year buhhhht Kakyin was all "And who's gonna pay for your expenses there?" my simple, cute reply was "You! XD"

But, reaallly :(
I miss London
I miss Ally Palllyy!
We are soo gonna hang out if I get to go.

Anyhows, I cannot believe this one guy in the computer in front of me is watching... Gossip Girl.

Ah. What happened to all the manlehh guys in the world?

Wheeeeeeee

2009-08-30T09:54:00.002+08:00

Hiya bloggie woggie dearest. After so long I have finally discovered a new way to blog ! That is via my sister's iPod touch. But it's pretty limited. Like, they don't even have an enter button wtf ryte? Anyway I am still lying in bed right now, at 9:58am in my beloved room. My second last day in kuala lumpur. It is really pretty saddening. I haven't done much these hols, piles of homework still undone. I don't get why some people like boarding schools, honestly. Sighh. Am really gonna miss being online every so often. Miss the chats with the people I call friends. I just wish razman would wake up and call me now. Felt guilty for leaving him early last night. Sigh. Wonder if anyone is still reading this piece of serious rambling I'm writing. When I go back there it would be so hard for me to convince myself all over again that this is my life now. I think by the time I can reaaaaally accept that fact I'd be leaving the darned college already.

2009-08-28T23:00:00.003+08:00

What's the Rave?

So there's this new trend amongst the muslimah community in Malaysia. New ways of wearing the hijab. Hohum. So I've decided to try on both of them, and I don't get why people are so excited about that. Both of them make me look ickily FAT!. Or issit just because I am that fat now?

People keep saying i'm getting more berisi. I should take that as a, er, compliment, right? But why the hell am I so worried about getting overweight already? :/

So anyway, speaking of tudung-wearing. *Clears throat* I'm going to dive a bit into it. Okay, so some people say ; Why wear tudung? Even those who are wearing it aren't that good anyway.

Well that's if you look at the not so good people. But what if you look at the ones who are truly keen on concealing their aurah properly? Who'd devote their selves to Allah? Those are also some of the people who wear the hijab, no? Why are you thinking of the not so good people when indeed there are more of the better people around?

So you are saying there are two groups ; hijab-wearers and non hijab-wearers. you are the latter. Wouldn't you compare yourself to those reaaally bad ones of that group, since you compared yourself to the reaaally bad ones from the former group too?

I mean, honestly. If you wanted to wait til all the hijab wearers to be ANGELS before you start realising that it is actually WAJIB to wear a hijab, then suit yourself

P/S: I'm sorry if this offenced anyone, really. I'm not that good of a person, either. I'm simply trying to improve myself from day to day.

And no, I'm no angel

you make me smile

2009-08-27T00:05:00.003+08:00

You make me smile

Just thought of blogging about Razman after I haven't done so in ageeesss.

Hmm, okay. What should I blog about?

He's currently in SBP Integrasi Gombak. He was happy to get into that school, because it was near my house. And I was like. Wtf? I'm in Malacca, what does it matter anyway?

He is .. :) Trust me, I myself hate lovesick people. And I know lovesick when I see it. And I am definitely lovesick.

So what does that make me?

A hypocrite?

He is freaking incredible.

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better

~~God I sound sooo. Nevermind.~~

Sigh. Looking back, I cannot believe we spent every waking moment together back in form 3 in SAB. Til practically everyone knew about us - because we were that inseparatable. Hee, I'll never forget the time he worked on my kerja kayu KH more than I did. And and that electronic circuit or whatever it is called that we were supposed to do. And how much time we spent in the KH workshop O.o

Well the admins really should have known better than to have accidentally put us in the same class, no? Hee. I remembered that time I cried [for the wrong reasons, now I know] but I didn't tell him why [it didn't have anything to do with him anyway] and then I cried harder and harder and he couldn't do anything about it. And when I looked at him his eyes were getting redder. He was crying, seeing me cry (:

And I still remember every single day we would fight. And I don't mean the normal kinda fights. Everyday it's a war - but we didn't mean it to be! It just so happened. But we'd make up and everything would be even better than before. Hah. That doesn't happen as often anymore, but yeah it still happens. And I love him even more so (:

Hahh, and during recess he'd buy me food and I'd buy him the drinks. The makcik frying the rice pun dah recognise us as an item. Hahah. Our fav drink is 'Tinge' which he pronounces as ti-nge and we'd debate each time on how it's actually pronounced.

And our late night calls. I don't have to go there, do I? Hahah. That reminds me, I'd still have to call him tonight. That is, if he's still awake. Heheh

Froggy : Haa see I've blogged about you. Suke la tu. Hee. (:

A song for you;

And please know, that this will always be true.

Life in MJSC TGB, Jasin

2009-08-26T00:06:00.009+08:00

I brought my camera to college last time I went back. And I took some pics!

First, lemme show you, my ROOM!

Or well, technically my bed cos I didn't take the whole room. It was quite messy that time :p

My bed [when it's neat. HAHA]

This is the only table I have in the room T_T

Oooh and you can spot my diswasher on top of my wardrobe! Hahaha

My wallpaper up close! Donuts.

Gosh I dont know how to face this during the fasting month =x

Okay. this is Nazurah, Qilli and I fooling around.

the one with spects is nazurah, the always ayu one is qilli (heee!) and the one in white is me (:

Ramadhan Mubarak (:

2009-08-23T22:28:00.003+08:00

Happy Fasting, people!

Once again, we are blessed to be in this month

the Ramadhan month

the month where all the satans are tied

the month which all gates of Heaven are opened

and all gates of Hell are closed

the month in which all our good deeds are multiplied to 1000 times by Allah

the month in which all our ibadah sunat

will be rewarded as if they were ibadah wajib
the month which has Lailatul Qadr. The night, better than a 1000 nights.

Nabi saw bersabda: “Pada malam pertama bulan Ramadhan, Allah berfirman: “Siapa mencintaiKu, pasti Akupun mencintainya, siapa mencari rahmatKu, pasti rahmatKupun mencarinya, dan siapa beristighfar kepadaKu, pasti Aku mengampuninya, berkat hormat Ramadhan, lalu Allah menyuruh malaikat mulia pencatat amal, khusus dalam bulan Ramadhan supaya menulis amal kebaikan semata, tidak mencatat laku kejahatan mereka, umat Muhammad, dan Allah menghapus dosa-dosa terdahulu bagi mereka.”

During this Ramadhan, don't only do your good deeds because all the rewards that Allah has promised you, but do it because of your love towards Him.

I can't blog anymore. Important people online.

I LOVE RAMADHAN, sumpah
okay maybe for the wrong reasons but heck.
I love ramadhan :)

roaming the streets of melawati

2009-08-01T22:31:00.004+08:00

with zully wully schmullyyy!

let the pictures do the talking, shall we?

I walked to the gates of Melawati High where Zully awaits me [echehh] then we walked to Bangi Kopitiam for lunch.

Zully had nasi lemak rendang ayam and some kind of iced coffee? And I had tomyam noodles with ice blended mocha! My pic with my food is too ugly to be displayed, please note.

As we were crossing the road. Zully memang gila =.=

Woots! Posing with SAB's yearly mag [forgot the name. god i suck.] that I lended to her. Hee

Took a quick pic in 'Souvenir Shoppe' in Melawati. Such a preeety shopee

And those were the stuff we bought in D'comel, a shop we once regarded as 'lame'. But no more! The stuff are all so cute and so cheaaap! Wheee, I have new 'jams slipper'. LOL. [jams as in jamban]

And the day before, I went out with Janicee! Watched Harry Potter which rocked. Had an awesome time with her too, but didn't take any pics.

Aww, love my friends to bits!
(:

you are my sunshine

2009-08-01T22:04:00.003+08:00

i am feeling soo down right now. :( but if i don't blog now i won't have the chance to for a verryyy long time cos i'll be back in jasin by tomorrow.

the thought itself sends me into fits.

well its okay. i love blogging
and i love you, bloggie woggie schmoggie.

well what should i blog about first? the campaign and stuff? god i'm so bored and somemore i didn't really take any pics of any of the stuff yet, so.. later? i don't think i'll say much about it, except.. well i really didn't take i'd be elected.

okay fine, you got me into this. *Glare*
I'll start from the beginning.

Okay, so ever since i found out about the existence of badan wakil pelajar, bwp // student's representative council, src i was fascinated by it. fascinated, but not drawn to it in anyway. during the ldp [lembaga disiplin pelajar] - sorta like prefects - interview, the interviewee asked if i would be interested in applying for bwp, adding that the job requires much less of an effort than ldp [something i highly doubt now] i insisted that i wasn't interested.

well lookie lookie who got a quick change of heart, huh?

well i wasn't sure until the very day to buy the bwp form [rm2 each. goshh] so i was like "well, why the heck not?" since some people told me i should take it. i should take it as an experience, even if i didn't get too far. i was so impressed with the other applicants - okay, i took a sneak peak at their forms. gosh, they're so experienced.

The interview was the stage i feared the most. but it wasn't so bad. i was in the first group of applicants to be interviewed and i think our group was lucky because the questions weren't as hard as the other groups' questions.

So the shortlisted people were announced, and we were to give our manifestos on the given days and we were to campaign. My manifesto, sucked. Seriously. I did it in bilingual and little did I know the form 4 boys of MJSC TGB could be so fuacking thick-headedly kampung. Forgive me for saying so myself, but whatever. They shouted and insisted for me to talk in malay when i badgered away in english. So I got nervous and pretty much did my talk fuacking badly.

But whatever, okay, fine.
Event dismissed.
Who cares.

Then we posted up the posters and gave out the buttons. some of the posters got ripped and in one of them, i grew a blue moustache. oooh, fascinating.

So I was like, yeah okay.
It's been a fine experience.
But if I don't get elected, I'm fine.

And then they announced the results.
I was gobsmacked for a moment.
"This college really is a shocker"
was all I could hear my mind thinking.

So yeah, I should reaallly thank pretty much everyone and i'm sorry for having bad thoughts of the college. I guess I was being oblivious. and a HUGE TON OF GRATITUDE to my SUPER ROOMIES! Seriously, i love you guys sooo freaaaking much.

So lucky to have you guyss (:

So that's that. I got the position i wanted, Academic Bureau and my AJKs are super fine people. Looking forward to work with them. And the other BWPs are aweesomeee! I'm sure we'll grow to love each other in the next term.

14 people
a small little happy family
:)

you're every minute of my every day (:

2009-07-21T21:22:00.002+08:00

Good god there's so much to blog about, but I doubt I have the time. Anywayy, thank God i came to the library [called PSI here] early tonight so I got my hands on one of the fast computers. Whee (:

I don't like it when my friends aren't in the best of moods

So what should I blog about, yeah? There is actually more to life in boarding school than what I expected. Seriously , it's freaking filled with ADVENTUREE. LOL. That is, if you have friends as crazy as mine here. Heeeh.

Like that one day we went to the back of the college to pick rambutans! It's not stealing because really, it's our college too, no? Hehee. It was hi-freaking-larious! All the rambutans are at the higher places on the trees bcos everyone else took the reachable ones ady. So some of us had to really pull the branches down while the rest of us would quickly grab as many rambutans as our hands would manage. At one point, we had to use chairs! LMFAO. Thank god there were a stack of chairs somewhere there. Then we actually bumped into one of the caretakers and we screamed and ran, when one of us actually heard the caretaker joking "Amik rambutan ke, dik?" Hahaha.

And at the end of our rambutan-picking session, we went nuts when we found this whole area, still full with rambutans, then Malin was pulling it with full force and was shouting "SYAWAAL!! AMIIIK SYAWAAL! AMIKK! KUNING KE MERAH KE! AMIK JEE! AMIK, SYAWAAL!! AMIKKKKK!" Then we were laughing like mad as we struggled to take as many as possible. Gila, i knowww.

Suddenly we heard someone shout rom the bio block.
"Korang, banyak tak dapat?"

And we were like "Errr, banyak, tapi semua kuning-kuning" [Yes, we were a tad bit mean too]. THEN we noticed that there was this whole group of people gathering by the window of their class, looking outside. LOOKING AT US. then we ran and ran and seek shelter. We as in Nazurah, Qilli and I, of course. Malin could still pick some more rambutans before finally getting it in her head that she should hide. LOL

Later that day, our next room neighbours, whose class was the one who caught us red-handed in action, told us that at first they thought all the noise was coming from a chick, as in a chicken's baby.

That, my friend, would be malin's voice.
LMFAO.

During this other day, we went to the back of the swimming pool, where it's quite secluded, so that they could practice their dance moves [for this talent show the PRS were having] but then we saw a few students picking rambutans from a tree, opposite the college! As in they were picking fruits from outside the college area! How could they? But then we saw Ustaz Azizul, the Ketua Warden, was also picking rambutans with them. Then suddenly a car approached us. It was Ustaz Sabri, the HEP. He asked, "Kamu nak join ke? Pergi dekat guard tu, cakap saya bagi kamu semua kutip rambutan dengan Ustaz Azizul. Pergi la" We didn't waste another moment, so after thanking him , we ran, LITERALLY, to the guardpost and told him . AND THEN WE FREAKKINGG RANNN OUTSIDE THE GATES OF THE COLLEGE towards the tree.

Felt fuaging good.
Felt like we were free.
Felt ...
*squawk* I stepped my new gladiators into a puddle of mud.
EUGH.

Ah well. Then we picked fruits, joked around, complained why Ustaz bought the tree with yellow rambutans, then shamelessly asked a mak cik who owned a red-rambutan tree if we could have some, divided all the rambutans we got into 3 plastic bags to be distributed to each blocks [girls only, boys didn't pick their rambutans yet].

It was fuhnn, really.

But then there was some conflicts after that. Sometimes I really don't get why the seniors act that way with us, but nevermind. The past is the past.

"Puas? Puas tak makan? Puas?"

HAH. Forever we will quote you :p

And thenn there were the elections. Yeah okay, don't laugh. But I was running in the elections. But I think I'd like to blog about this later, with pictures of my buttons and stuff.

I'd just like to add, that without the help of my super freaking awesome roomies, I would have probably reaaaallllyyyy sucked.

I love them to bits.
Roomies forever (:

even the wrong words seem to rhyme (:

2009-06-21T12:33:00.004+08:00

I still get goosebumps whenever I think of how excrucatingly painful those nights of staying up were, during the finals for Sem. 1. That's what I get when I do last minute studies, I guess.

But it was all worth it
(:

Never in my wildest dream, did it cross my mind that I'd get such blessings. I can't be grateful enough.

Segala pujian bagi Allah
Praise to Allah the Almighty
Alhamdulillah

Oh good god. I love Allah. I love Islam. I know i'm not the most religious person you've met [heck, no] but I've never felt this close to Allah, like, ever.

Okay, well anyway. =x

On Friday morning, I woke up as usual, thankful that I managed to wake up before the azan, even with the absence of my alarm clock. [It's broken ady, that bugger. Just bought it some more] And I always beat my phone's alarm anyway. Happy syawalee that morning, cos I was going home that afternoon! Wheee.

Then went to morning rollcall as usual, then suddenly the HEA took the mic and to announce generally the results for Sem. 1. Was so proud of my batch! Those who got. 3.00 and above for their PNG (CGPA) totalled up to 407 students, whilst last year's batch was only 300 something students. Wheee (: 09/10 rocks! XD

But then they started to call out the names of the ppl who got 4.00, and asked them to get on the stage. I simply gulped. What the hell, I thought. The form fives were called out first. Then the HEA moved on to form fours. My name was the first one, whattheduck! Because my name starts with an "N". Then baru they called out Syasya and Umi.

It was so embarassing siot. Then the HEA told everyone that our reward would be a dinner at some Tomyam Klasik restaurant. Us 3 rolled our eyes upon hearing that name. Lameeee, we thought. And then he said we're gonna get RM100 each. That, we likey ;)

So after enduring a whole day of people congratulating me [please note; endured!] and after telling my parents that the HEA invited them to the dinner as well, we got ready to go to the restaurant. Pushed off at around 7.10 pm [or later. seriously, they were very vague with the details]. Umi and syasya took a ride in my car, while the form fives rode the van to get to the restaurant.

When we arrived there, the place was sooo prettyyy. Then I found out that it was a new branch of the restaurant that my family used to always go to whenever we were in Malacca. Aww, memories.

Pretty right? The parking space was huuuge. After prayers, we sat down at the tables. There were like, 6 huge round tables, 4 were occupied by teachers, 1 by the students + my parents, and another was for the VIPs. - the Muafakat ppl [aka PIBG] and the admins.

So after the short but interesting speeches, we feasted! The food were yummehh. The company was awesome too. I'm so glad Syasya and Umi got the same results as me too. If it was someone I didn't know/not close with/very passive, it would've been boring. Thank god we're friends XD.
We were done after one plate of rice. But the form fives [2 boys, 1 girls] added more rice to their plate and continued eating. The girl was then done, but the 2 boys tambahh lagiii. Gawd, incredible eaters. Macam tak makan setahun. =.=

~~Oh god, no wonder they were the earliest to arrive at the meeting place, before we push off.~~

Then came the award giving ceremony. [The guys stopped eating then] Our names were called, mine was first [alphabetically] thus no picture of me because the photographer was too slow. Syasya went next and her pic was taken. Ah well :p I think Miss Zie was the one who screamed my name when I stood up to take the RM100 from the VIP. HAHAH. Miss Zie rocks! XD

When the ceremony ended officially, my parents and I shook hands with most of everyone cos we were leaving for KL ady.

P/S: Oh, did I mention the guys started to continue eating again? HAHA!

It was all worth it, then (:

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers.

2009-06-13T17:57:00.003+08:00

TAYLOR SWIFT!
LUCAS TILL!
TOGETHER!

Need I say moree?

Dedicate this song to.. Razman! Mwuahaha >D

But he's already mine, so
ABOOYAH!

it's not a fairytale

2009-06-13T12:31:00.002+08:00

major depression, like. so much.

Perhaps its because I'm going back to Jasin
With that 440+ people in my batch
With that 25 people in my class
With those wardens who never really get sick of torturing me
Seriously
With those results of SEM 1, [not to mention finals sem 1!]
That will decide whether I get LDP and Tasawwur
Or issit just the pressure of
Impressing the EMCs to pick me to become one of them?

Or probably it's just because Janice is all in the way in China
and Im acting oh so lesbo :(
Didn't even get to meet her

These hols were a waste of time

gosh, so tiring

2009-06-13T12:07:00.001+08:00

Went out with Razman on Thursday , watched Monster vs Aliens. Lame movie. Very. Didn't matter cos I had Razman. xD

Yesterday was an outing with Zully, Diba and Rarawr. Missed her loads. Went to sunway but didn't skate, just walked around the place. Ate japanese at Sakae. Ahha, coolios.

God i'm so tired, sumpah penat. I swear I'm never gonna take the KTM at peak hours anymore, like, ever. Sumpahhhh !

Not such an interesting blog, sorry dear bloggie. But I really am worn out.
And summore esok dah nak balik :(
Mengapa?
Mengapa??

I miss my janice sayang :(

smelly (:

2009-06-10T13:00:00.004+08:00

okay i'm not gonna elaborate on that. faham2 saja. :p

Anyway so i've been to a few people's blogs. Don't really get them =.=

Okay so no offence, but please do mind your english.
Seriously I can't BEAR to read anymore broken english.
Just blog in freaking Malay, why the hell not.
Malay rocks
Like
Woi kau tengah buat apa tuh

As opposed to

Hey wat ups yous alls?

Okay sorry. A bit pissed off. I don't think it's solely because of that, I think it's because of my internet connection.

So yeah I might sound like a bitch. But whatever, I'm just being honest, okay?

Well, anyhows.

I just came back from Ipoh, like, 2 days ago. Okay so it was a while ago =.=
Planned to go ice skating with Erin and the gang yesterday, but they were all going early in the morning, and I planned to go with Razman [Cos janice and zully are both phobia to ice skating. And right now, I might think Hoo keen is too.] but he couldnt. :( Family problem or so.

Phone is ringing. Stupid phone. Die! Dieeee!
It won't die :(
GRRR!
Yes it died!

Where was I?
Oh right.

Well anyway so far, I've watched 3 movies during the holidays. :( Only threeee.

Terminator Salvation
I've always been scared of the terminators. Seriously, they have scary faces. =x But this one really was pretty awesome. The action was intense [really, till I needed to pee in the middle of the movie! But that was prolly cos I drank too much coke] Since I was never a die-hard fan of the terminator and still found it awesome, you should check this one out!

Wtf. Did I just give a freaking review?
HAHAHA
=x

Night at the Musem : Battle of the Smithsonian
Another continuation of a movie which I haven't actually seen. Didn't watch the first one, but the second one was awesomeeeeeee. I loved the JoBros playing the cupids! Aww, freaking cuuuute! And Amy Adams was in it too! [she played giselle in enchanted]

The movie was really cute lah. Go watch it lah. Faster lahh.

Hannah Montana
I reaaaaallyyy didn't think I'd like this movie. But it wasn't at all bad! I loved the soundtracks, Miley really does have a nice voice. And the eye candy wasn't that bad too. Actually, he was pretty yummy. Heheee. Okay, given the fact that he doesnt wear the straw hat. I think his hair makes him look cute. He doesn't really have that much of a face to oogle for.

Okay so I'm reviewing the guy, not the movie. Sue me -.-

Did that happen to eeeek ME? D:

2009-06-10T11:38:00.003+08:00

Rules:
1. Answer the questions as honestly as possible.
2. Post this as "Did That Happen To You?"
3. Tag 10 friends.
4. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
5. Have Fun!!!

1. What do you do if you are in the bathroom with a beetle flying around?
attack with splashes of water then give it a grim glare. trust me, it works. so many insects flying around in my dorm's bathroom!

2. What do you do if you hear a song you like playing on the radio when you are all alone in the room?
Dance like nobody's business then end up kicking the table or the bed then cry alone in the darkness T_T

3. You want to speak to your crush badly. What is your pick up line?
ER, HI . Er. Er. Umh. Oh, I went into your class the other day and rearranged your books on your desk! XD
[seriously, this happened! well not to me lah hahah to A CERTAIN FRIEND OF MINE in tgb. HAHA. that time we were having exams and the form 5s had theirs in the hall. so then my friend went into her crush's class and actually tidied up his desk! lmfao. cos god knows, their desk is FULL with books. the desks there are big maah, not like sab's :p]

4. What do you do if all your friends hate a particular band that you love?
You.. *sobs*... youu.. doooo? WAAAAAAAHHHH! *runs around the room crying my eyes out* then, grrrhhh. *Grab a knife and stabs everyone in the room* BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!

5. What do you do when you trip and fall in front of many people?
OMF LMFAOOO. THIS HAPPENED HAHAHAHA. It was after taqlim at night [all the members of the dorm had to gather to read verses of the quran] then for some UNKNOWN reasons, i tripped and let out a scream. all the seniors were like 'SHHH!' then i crawled from the place i fell to a more hidden place then LAUGHED MY FREAKING ASS OFF there. Then when we went back to our room, Nazurah laughed like a MONKEY HAHAHA.
gosh i miss her already hahaha

6. You forgot to do your multiple-choice question homework
Alah senang je. tiru mah (x then conteng here and there, as if you were 'thinking really hard' to get the answer.

7. You have bad breath and someone speaks to you. How do you react?
Oh pfft as if you smell that nice hmph !

8. You just finished gym and after a shower, you drop your underpants on the wet floor. What do you do?
I meant to do that !

9. What do you do if a personality quiz says that you have a lousy personality as your result?
Dismiss it. I always suck at quizzes anyway. Like, this one quiz says im a TOMBOY. Like wtf? Then charles went and comment "Didn't you know?" =.=

10. Your friend gave you the worst gift you have ever received and asks: Do you like it? How do you react?
Awww that's so cute of youu! Gimme a hugg!

11.(Continued from question 10) What are you really thinking secretly inside?
Um, okay. I'll figure out what this thing does later.

12. A hot guy/girl keeps looking at you while you are on the bus. What are you secretly thinking inside?
Wink wink. Hey mister! XD You single? I know I'm not! =p

Ngee, okay. Whoever wants to do it, just do it.
Grabbed from Ms Cindy's bloggie woggie :)

The ninenteenth month (:

2009-06-01T13:19:00.002+08:00

It's been 19 months since I liked razman.
~~Okay, lies. Been longer.~~
But you get the point -.-
right?

Anyway IMY IMY IMY !
That's
i MISS youuu

You being all of you, of course. I can't believe I'm back. Free from that tooting hole! Hmphhh.

Seriously, I seem to have generated a lot more hatred and anger towards TGB since the last time I came back. I mean, CLEAR OUR LOCKERS?! For the form 1 kids who would be staying in our rooms?!

DO THEY KNOW HOW MUCH THINGS WE HAD IN THOSE GODDAMNED LOCKERS?!

God, whatever. I got so upset, that after the freaking rollcall [yes, we had a rollcall padahal we had to go back to our hostel right after that anyway. Good for nothing, I tell you] my roommates and I ate Ruski [because I was out late the night before, and by the time I came back, my roomies were all asleep- and the Ruski was left untouched] and right after that, I kept quiet while rummaging through my things and sorting them into piles. Thank god I managed to get one empty locker in the spare rooms. Transferred my stuff in there and ta-daa! I was the first one done among my roomies.

So when our warden came and told us that we haaaad to clear our lockers, no excuses, everyone else got pissed. And I was like "See? When I got pissed, you guys were like, calm down. Now see who's pissed"

Okay, I do not want to get moody again.
Just that, my college seriously. SERIOUSLY. Is.
UGH.

With that said,
I think I want to be an EMC. I'd prolly prefer it over LDP. [Well a duh!] The thing is though, EMC will be labelled as the social ones. Ah well. Screw it lah. I don't think they'll view me anymore differently. EMCs rock ass, anyway XD

Oh crap, right.

EMC stands for the English Motivational Committee. I think you can tell what it does by the name. Hoho. Sharif said they're looking for people are, and I quote, "Crazy"

Wellll. I cannnn. Jump from the rooftop. Well, okay, in my dreams. Or yours, doesn't matter.

Point is, I am crazy.
~~Crazy for youuuuu~~
Er, disregard that please.

Woah what a shitty, totally random post. Ho hurm.
By the way, I think I'm in love
With so many random peoplee.
I lovee my friends they're like the aweesomeesttt.
Superduper happy to be back, seriously

I think.
I am.
Insane.
Insane.
Insane.

SAB, my alma mater

2009-05-05T21:49:00.002+08:00

I LOVE YOU!

*sobs sobs*

Haih, I've never actually appreciated the beauty of SAB much, before, have I? Ah well. Go on with your new hall and your new wall murals and your new students. I'll move on and appreciate my current *sobs* college *sobs*

Okay so I paid SAB a visit today. I could feel my heart was beating faster as we neared the school. My mum wanted to drop me off at the bus station where she usually drops me off, but heck no! There were so many people that time so I asked her to drop me up front. Turns out there were more people there! Eeek. But I really didn't have any choice. I hesitated to jump out from the car at first, regretted what I wore. "Should've worn something like the ko-ko shirt," I nagged myself. But I braced myself and got out from the car, finally. And to my pleasant surprise, Yasmin - a form 1, passes by and then we talked for a while, and from her I met Amirah [the form 2, not my amirah :( ] and then Hoo Keeny and Aisya and Josephine!! Heee, then I met numerous people lah don't think you'd like me to blog about it here right? :p

Then I met steffie too and gave her my ~~ridiculous~~ birthday present but then I got a piece of cake, yippeee! Went to 4H to find Razman there with numerous other people who screamed when I got there [it was Sheril who screamed, haha!]

Oh gosh I've missed them soo much, cann?
I wished Zully and Rawr could've been there tooo :(
and not forgetting Leila and
DIBA!
:(
Amirah wasn't even there at school
She went back ady
I was too late
:( :(

Ah well. At least there were the people I met. Yaaay :)

And and tomorrow, I'll be at the titwangsa award-giving ceremony for the straight a's for pmr. Yayyy! I hope they're all gonna be there. :) IMY lah gediks!

Oh btw, I'm writing this 1000 article for the magazine that I've mentioned in my previous post. Right now I'm at 929. YES! GO SYAWAL, GO SYAWAL!

Teen Angst

2009-05-05T11:32:00.003+08:00

I'm trying to write a piece on teen angst, for this magazine competition [by The Star] we have to enter. Yes, have to enter. I'm entering with JuJue and Alya.

Oh and I wrote this poem
entitled "When you were a teenager"
Havent wrote one in ages
So who cares if it sucks

“Teenagers,
Oh what do they know?
They’re still so young
So naïve
They could hardly tell
What’s wrong or right!”

I hear them say,
As I pass by.

“Their music, too loud
Their clothes, too odd
Their hair, too grungy
Everything about them
Annoys me!”

I hear them mutter,
As I pass by.

“They smoke,
They take drugs,
They steal,
They kill,
Oh how I wish
They disappear from this world!”

I hear them whisper,
As I pass by.
But then
I stopped in my tracks.

“Have you forgotten
What it was like to be
At the turning point of life?
To feel the pressure
Of deciding your path in life?”

I gathered all my nerve,
And began saying these to them.

“Has it slipped your mind
How arduous it was
To live up to everyone’s expectations?
To figure out whom you are
Because everyone has
But yourself?”

Their expressions started to change,
Nevertheless, I continued my speech.

“We teenagers only seek attention,
For we are a misunderstood clan
Underappreciated for our talents
Overburdened with expectations
For once, bear in mind
We are humans too
We have feelings
And we have thoughts of our own”

“Just try to recall,
How it was like,
When you were a teenager”

With that, I bid farewell,
And I stormed off,
Leaving them wide eyed,
And mouth opened.

Oh, teen angst. Come to me. Come to me.
I need to write about you
So COME, ALREADY!

TGB Sports' Day

2009-05-02T12:20:00.004+08:00

Jsyk,
I've converted to
RED HOUSE
in MRSM TGB :DD

Merah is hot to go,
H-O-T T-O G-O
AUUM !
IT'S HOT TO GO,
AUUUMM!

I think we were the loudest to cheer on that very Sport's Day. We would've won if we scored more points during the Merentas desa and Ujian Tara. Ah well. At least we're the hottest.

MERAH HAWWWT!

Our theme was DRAKULANUN.
kehkeh
That's drakula + pirate for you,
arr, ye matey! i'll suck yee blood!

I was in the perbarisan. We had to wear white tudung, tucked inside our red shirt, with black pants. Then they painted our right eye black, to show as if we were wearing eye patches [representing pirates, 'course!] and then they painted red stains , as if blood is drooling from our mouth. Hot giler, kot! HEH.

Then they attatched a black tudung to our right arm so that when we kawad, you can see the black tudung falling and dropping in unison. Wheee ~

Fakhira took our pics but uh I don't really know how I'm supposed to get those pics.

Anyway, the results were,

Olahragawan keseluruhan - MERAH
Olahragawati keseluruhan - MERAH
Best perbarisan - MERAH, durr
Best overall - Blue :(

AH WELL!

Merah still rocked the pavilion that day !
[Pavilion is.. our sorta stadium. Not as cool as it sounds, trust me]

Pretty pics, no? These are lomographies from the Sports Day. There were sooo many more, actually. All are effing pretty, beyond words! But these are all I managed to find :(

FULL CREDITS TO : mimjamil

little red busses

2009-05-01T12:47:00.002+08:00

okay so it wasn't that little
but i'm still pissed off with it x(

Yesterday was my first time on a bus. I mean, on an express bus, across a state. In MALAYSIA.

FREAKING
MALAYSIA!

like, woahh. aren't you all proud of me?

People's reaction when they heard I was taking the bus home

1. EEEEK !!!
2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SYAWAL? NAIK BAS?! HAHAHAHAHAHAH !
3. Berani kah anda?

*a few weeks later*

4. You're taking the bus?? Oh, I thought you were joking the other day

Geez, pipol.
Thanks for the enthusiastic support.

Ugh well suddenly i've no mood to blog about how farahin, fatin, nazurah and i rushed to get into the first bus at 2pm, from our maktab to malacca central. but yeah we made it! we're the first few who got in, jsyk :P

But of course, I ran all the way from class to my room then to dataran cendekiawan [sorta like assembly ground]

Well I guess I'm blogging abt tht afterall =.=

Well, main thing is, their busses are all earlier than mine, so I hung out with people with the same bus as me, in malacca central. Some of them are even from melawati, hee! My bus was the 6 o'clock bus to KL. Pudu, to be exact. But we arrived there at around 9 pm, and the driver dropped us in front of the dental clinic, somewhere around pudu. So me and afiqah crossed the road to the Maybank building cos our parents told us to wait there instead.

When afiqah was gone, I was there, alone. At night. In the middle of KL. With lotsa scary looking guys around. But thankfully there was this one mak cik. Poor mak cik. She asked for 20 c, to call her daughter/son. I hesitated at first, thinking how dangerous it is to even make contact with strangers at all. But then, HELLO. Do I not have any humanity? So i fished some coins in my pocket and tadaa! I pulled out a 20 c coin.

She went to call and came back a few mins later, holding the same coin, with a disappointed look. Her son/daughter didn't pick up. My aunt and mom came soon afterwards, so I don't know if she managed to go home. It's sad how children disregard their parents nowadays, isn't it?

Afterwards my parents and aunt brought me to a new kopitiam place in melawati. Oh, yumsh! Love it! Hee, its soo the new in thing in melawati now.

To my girls :
Jom lepak, someday? Missing youu!

FAUX

2009-04-29T11:51:00.002+08:00

i'm having SR now [that's seni reka. YES, we still have art here. i TOLD you MRSM is .. UGH!] but the teacher said we can do anything we'd like. So here I am, doing something I like. BLOGGING, hee. In the library, of course. Using one of the fast computers. Otherwise, I'd be dying by now.

Anyway I don't get why some people have the impressions that I'll be coming back to SAB [not just you, nadira, hee dont worry.] I called razman the other day and he said some people thought I was coming back for good. Er, sorry but I'm actually liking this place. And this place is actually liking me too :DD

MEGAWHEE!

but yeah, MRSM TGB's students are a bit.. Well, I can't decide whether they're good or not. I guess you can't really label around 900 students with one word, can you now? And as far as I'm concerned, my gang is aweshum(: ~~better than yours~~ HA! Okay just kidding :p

And I'm starting to adjust to my life as an LDP trainee [LDP: lembaga disiplin pelajar] though some of these people are a bit poyo-ed la COUGH. The inspections are pretty cool, when I conduct it. Nevermindlah, panjang cerita kot.

And yeah I'm starting to speak in weird MRSM slangs. =x
And I love PHYSICSS
when.. I score :D

I think i really hate art
EXCEPT when it's free and I can blog instead.
oh dayyum.
it's star period now.
tasawwur.
sheyt.
should i go?

:(

Oh wait, I'll be back this afternoon with Qilli and Nazurah and Syaza cos qills want to make a blog, yay!

So ttyl (:

P/S: I'm coming home tomorrow, at 6pm. Via bus. First and last time EVER on a fishing bus. I sweaaaaaaaaa- okay maybe not quite. See first lah.

P/S/S: Sorry for the randomousity of this post. HEE.

EXAMS. OVER ! WHEE!

2009-04-24T16:23:00.002+08:00

you have
NO.
FISHING
IDEA
how hard the whole week was. Now I know, studying last minute is NOT. EVEN. AN OPTION ANYMORE.

Oh, just so you know, I'm still in MRSM. Was just online to do some stupid folio [which I was done with an hour ago and spent the rest of my time browsing people's blogs]. I came to the library alone, though cos nazurah and qilli are sleeping. and syaza was prolly too, didn't bother to check. and anyway, the computer is more fun when you're using it alone (X

so AS I WAS SAYING.

exams just ended yesterday. I had to stay up everynight in the study room weyhh. Every. night. of the exam days. Okay, so the latest I stayed up was around 2 am, but STILL. 2 AM, TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. and I had to wake up at 5.30 am! and I didn't even sleep during the day. Wth, ryte?

In the study room, there's like, another door at the back which opens to another section, which is also used to study la, but it's obviously a bit segregated and hidden, hee. So that's where we study at night. We freaking conquer the place, can? We should've labelled the place as GA22's second room :DD

Oh, I slept at 2 am the latest, right?
The other three crazyheads slept at around 4 AM at one night.
The night before
PHYSICS
and
SEJARAH

figures, huh?

but physics ended up to be easier than we expected it to be, so when I was done with it early, I laid my head on the table lah kan. As usual. Then I started to get sleepy so I took quick naps, which I kept waking up from. And then at one point, it became a longggg nap. My classmates told me the teacher had to knock my table 3 times before I finally woke up =/.

I slept 15 MINUTES in Physics exam!

HA !

I bet everyone was laughing at me already during my 15 minutes of nap. By the time I woke up, most people had already handed in their exam papers and was studying sejarah. ZZZ. Ah well. 15 minutes to make up for 2 hours? Excusable la kann :p

Oh btw I'm like, in taekwondo now. O.o I know what you're thinking, so shut up. But all four of us are white belts so YEAHH :D

And I'm taking golf. Hahah. Syaza and I in golf, Qilli and Nazurah in Badminton. We initially planned to join swimming club but syaza heard some people say they dont really do much. And dang, I have yet to use to pool!

But heck, golf must be frikking expensive. I felt sooo guilty right after I registered. :( But I can't change. Unless they have bowling, which what syaza and I decided on [after not wanting swimming] ARGH this school ! :(

And I'm in English Club. I knoww, I wanted to avoid that. So super duper boring. But there weren't many people there. [The sheet was still clean, 10 minutes after the registration started and students started queing at the tables with their desired clubs/etc] So yeah, we'll prolly rule the club and make the club interesting.

I guess I'll have to go now. Asar is coming soon.

p/s: I think I lost my badminton racquets and shuttlecocks. SHEEEEEETIO :(

p/s/s: I really don't curse in mrsm, actually. but hee, who cares? :p

p/s/s/s: I'm coming home by BUS and LRT! wo0ts! ngee~

See you guys soon!
Oh, oh!

p/s/s/s/s: I'm coming to SAB on Monday KOT! YAAAAAAAAY!

NOW BYE! :DD
MWAHS!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOO

I MISSS YOUU PEOPLEEEEEEEE! :)

MASQUERADE, anyone?

2009-04-06T09:46:00.003+08:00

so the E-NIGHT wasn't too bad. It was better than most of us thought it would be. The theme was masquerade, so we all had to wear masks. I bought mine at teddy tales, and I saw lotsa other people wearing the same one too. Hee, but nevermind. I'm only identical to people when I'm masked. Under my mask lies my true indentity.

Okay *cough* lame. Forget I typed that =x

the E-night was on 28th march [yes, Hoo Keen's bday. Oh yeah, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY HOO KEEN :) - I called him at 12.00am on 28th march and was the first to wish him! If he won't tell that to the whole world, I WILL! HMPH xP] and coincidentally all my roommates and I were uzur that day so we didn't have to go to the surau for Maghrib prayers. We were soo psyched, weyh! We thought we had lotsa time to get ready for the party. That night was also the Earth Hour, right? At first we were darned enthusiastic to participate. But in the end, it's like "PUT THE LIGHTS ON I CAN'T SEE WHAT I'M WEARING"

It's not our fault.
It's the party, really!

Anyway, considering the fact we had more time to get ready compared to the people who had to go and pray, you'd never thought that we would STILL be the last ones to leave the block. It was cos Nazurah had problems putting on her contacts, it was her first time anyway. We bought it that afternoon during our outing at Jasin, just for the e-night! - Since it would be a hassle to wear specs over a mask - Hahah. Semangat oh Nazurah. [We don't really call her Nazu anymore. Nazurah sounds soo much cooler, cannn?]

And in the middle of the hassle, we even forgot to attatch ribbons as strings to her hand-made mask! - She couldn't find any in JB, dont they have teddy tales there?- The seniors looked pissed off when we finally came down to leave the block. I bet they thought we were obsessed with make up etc. Ha! As if. [Okay, so Nazurah did bring make up and we did put on eyeliner, the night before! Just for fun maa. But we didnt wear it to the party, no way!]

When we arrived outside the hall, we could see that everyone was sooo prettyy. Their masks were stunning [most of them from teddy tales, i KNOW. haha] and their outfits were cuute :) And when we were going inside the hall, we walked hand in hand. Hahah. Nazurah with Syaza, Qilli with me. We were like fuging dates, ew. HAHA.

So there were performances;
dikir barat - in English. Soo weird haha.
Choir + Dian Syafiqah on the piano.
A group of guys singing - I believe I can FLYYY.
Raz and the shufflers

I guess the shuffling was pretty much the main performance of the night. They weren't pretty bad? I can't believe I remembered all the performances, haha. Then there were awards for.. Best bachelor, best bachelorette, miss gorgeous and best mask.

And then there were other stuff too, that made the night a pretty memorable one. But we were mostly sleepy by the time it ended. Went for supper then went to block, and that was when the camwhoring starteddd :DD Syaza went to sleep early, so we invited malin to camwhore with us lah :DD. Aimo was pulled out of her room to take some pics of us, hee :D

Oh and everyone got pissed with their masks so we camwhored without our masks! And I actually wore another tudung over this one, but it was annoying so I took that off too haha :p

We camwhored near the stairs and couldn't stop laughing, the seniors were so pissed with us =x Sorrryyy lahhhh. Terlebih perky that night haha :p

Me, Qilli, Nazurah and Malin.
~~OMG you can see the amount of clothes on the ampaian haha. Damn embarassing!~~
I look like I had to pee or something !
Qilli control cun :P
OMG NAZURAH'S FACE HAHAHAHA.
Malin put up her two hands in EVERY PIC, can?

Hee, there were more pics but we took them via Qilli's phone. She couldn't come online, but she sent these pics to me thru MMS :(. But thanks anyway to silli qilly lilly! :)

ZULLAY!

2009-04-05T21:29:00.004+08:00

heheh.

Today was preeeeeeeeeeeeetty awesome (:

Went out with Zully Wully Schmullyyy! To KLCC. Just the two of us, really. Hahah freaking fun, can?

We went around and around the mall, just loitering. HOHO.

Geez I nid the pics now. -.-

Actually, the night before, I slept at the clinic my sister was working at, Poliklinik Kotaraya Klinik Pakar Wanita. Coincidentally, the clinic I was born in :D so yeah, i was so proud to actually have full access to the doctor's office and the doctor's resting room. CEHH bangga siot (x

So the next day, we went home, my sis showered and went straight back to the clinic to work til 1pm. Then Zully picked me up and we headed to LRT. I miss her like crazyy, talked nonstop with her weyh. Truly my soulmate ! <3<3 style="font-style: italic;">ZULLY said that popcorn would be bad for your cough [since both of us were coughing], we decided to buy little buns at isetan. Okay, didn't regret that. They were so yummy! Bought 5 for RM6. But it wasnt even half the movie when we ran out of cute, tiny, yummy buns :(

Love her dress! (:

Confessions of a shopaholic was aweesomeee. If you haven't read the book, that is. I, of course, haven't - Bro bought me the book for my birthday [wrapped in his shirt, with the book's price tag on. Aww but it's the thought that counts, right? ;)], but I haven't got around to read it . Not even the first page =/

This part was hilarious!

The whole cinema roared with laughter. And when the dance was over, I could still Zully still shaking uncontrollaby wtf right hahah. I laughed seeing her laugh !

And then there's this soundtrack too !

Dedicated to my awesome soulmates, twins, best best best bestestest friends ever. LOVE YOUU people no matter how smelly you people are!

oh and to razman too lah hehehe (:

Best way to confess;
I thought she's your girlfriend
No, she's not my girlfriend
She's not you.
- Confessions of a Shopaholic

Long Hiatus

2009-03-21T14:18:00.002+08:00

is it not ? (:

Anyway i've been to several places these past few days. Haven't had one stay-at-home day at all. Ah well. Tomorrow I'm going back to Jasin.

Oh yeah, JASIN. hehe

[SO NOT Jason + Karin okayhh kyeeish? :p Your Mr. A-Z will have to wait]

well, it's pretty awesome. Cos the people there are pretty awesome, too. The facilities aren't that uh, fascinating. I adapted with the environment pretty quickly.

But its so weird that I'll have to respect my seniors now. And call them kakak =/ Can you imagine me calling steffie.. Kak stef? [okay, only razman calls her that and gets away with it] Kak arda.. O.o what is that, honestly? =/

So, i live in room GA22(3). The G stands for Block G, the furthest one. ~~the scariest one, apparently~~. 22 is the room, and 3 is the bed. I imagined my room would be more like GA21(3) and that would be my birthdate! But then I'M SO GLAD i'm in the next room cos I love my roomies! (x

They are...

Bed 1; Nazurah [nazu]
Bed 2; Amalina [malin]
Bed 3; ME!
Bed 4; Aqilli [qilli]

Malin's from MRSM Mersing and they have around 50 of them in Jasin now, so she already has a gang. Qilli's from MRSM Batu Pahat, and she has a bestfriend here too, Syaza. Nazurah and I are from gov schools [day schools] so we're like, clueless. But then both of us started joining qilli and syaza, and now we're like four-in-a-pact. That is, for the after-school hours only. Cos we're all in different classes.

I'm in 411. I know, 4-1-1 =.= WEIRD. 411 @ 4K.

4K again ! I'm destined to be a K-ian .

And the school compound is huuuugeee. Can fuging lose weight just by walking to the classes from the asrama. PLUS we jog everyday during riadah time. But my brother and sister both said I'm getting fatter .

Which I am not complaining about, of course.
Fat, come to me.
You know you want to (x

And at night, our lights out is at 11.30 pm, and before that we have a taqlim session in respective blocks. [It's very Islamic here, and I love it ! (x Insaf lahh :p] But we don't sleep right after, duh. Well not my room anyway. Sometimes we'll borrow someone's kettle and boil water to cook maggi and then eat while crying outside our room cos it's too spicy .

Our neighbouring rooms get ticked off with us, at nights especially. AWWH, COME ON. WE CAN'T BE THAT NOISY . PFFT.

There's a swimming pool there too [called kore - kolam renang ; pronounced ko-ray], but we'd have to book it a fortnight before. And a minimum of 15 people is required, with a charge of 50 cents. Such a hassle, no? That's why we're planning on joining the Swimming Club :DD

I know I make it sound like I don't miss SAB at all [Well, now that you've mentioned it, probably not much :p] but really I miss the people!

Missing you people loads
Never stopped
(:

it's hard to say goodbye

2009-02-09T22:50:00.002+08:00

Adieu, Adieu,
Please don't be sorrow

Well this won't be the last goodbye as Zully mentioned in her blog. This is not the end of everything :) Thanks to those close friends who stood by my side when some people got sick of me and abandoned me.

I don't know much of what to say. The memories in SAB is here to stay :)

See? I'm clueless. I suck at goodbyes. Everyone knows that.

:(

I love you. All of you. Like so super duper much. I feel like crying when I think of it but I won't cry cos it will make Kakda happy :(

Hmph.

It's okay.

I'll be around

Bye darlings (:

last day in SAB

2009-02-07T22:10:00.008+08:00

We posed in front of other people's cameras for like, a million times it seems, but our only pic together in my camera is this ugly one =.=
Him at my table. For the last time ):
Syawalina. Razman. My table :)
My box where I keep all the heavy textbooks I so recklessly keep in the class (x
Camwhoring GAHA. checking whether my tudung was okay for the day :p

Ceh hahah. Macam PM signing a contract :p
Amirah lagi lah! LOL! hehe
wit random people in 4C
Raihan & Diba !

With more random people. And omg u can see Razman at the back hahaha

With Syafikah and Arda, outside school .

Xian Jin and Charles. Charles act cute =.=
With KD and Shazlina. Ex classmates! :p
Rupini Nair ! LOVE YOU BABE! :D
Current classmates (x Liyana, Suri and Jacinta.

Meera :)
[ugly me =x] Tammy ! Ex-mentee ! :)

Juniors . Sue ! :( Gonna miss her the most :(
Steffio ! She thought Friday wasn't my last day =.=
~~Oh god my horroriffic tudung~~
Erin ! Finally a pic with you, weyh :p
The Amazing 5 (x [6 including Leila, 7 including Rarawr!]
Mereka poyo. Hahah JK (X
SAB's quite pretty (:
Candid [riight]. Walk back from the Ice blended store. We all ordered Mocha! Gaga (X
Syamira the French lady! :)
Makan time!
I always push his songkok til it covers his eyebrows like that :p
Gonna miss doing that :(
So I did this for him! It doesnt really hurt lor. He kept complaining it did =.=
With Amirah before she left. Look at my FACE HAHAH tepungified

Erin and Raihan, totalle tepungifyness! XD
This dude right here, LOVES to pose. Especially when his face is floured. BY YOURS TRULY ;p
Idzham poured a bucketful of water on Razman's head, this is the evidence! BAHAHA (x
With the people who attended the party! (x
I was the only one who didnt change into pj attire
Oh, and Ainaa didn't change her clothes too! (X

Yaaay! =.=
Zully Wully Schmully! Love you more and more each day ! :)
Rocyie Wong the Pretty/Hilarious/Freaky!
Shung Li ! Love her ! :)

Jing Yee didn't wanna take pic wit me :(
Thus the ugly pic hmm :(

Razman made me pose with that :p
Holding a Lollipop Bouquet from Interact Club. Razman managed to beg Annabelle to give it to him a week faster. Aww (: Thanks sayang <3
I love you so super duper whooper much :)

JANICE !

2009-02-03T22:22:00.004+08:00

Oh before I forget to blog about this,
and without any further procrastination

I met Janice yesterday! :DD

It was planned, of course =.= Fate never wants us to meet coincidentally no matter how close by our houses are, and the fact that her car passed in front of my house before. so many cars passed by my house before , but that's another matter

So we went out to Times Square yesterday. Met at the LRT. I thought I waved first but Jan said she waved first so then I was like "Why isn't she waving back wtf?" So yeah. But it was pretty weird, being THERE with HER. Like, being best friends for 5 years, without ever meeting each other was a pretty cool thing. Then there I was, standing at least 2 inches shorter than her. Or more OMG.

Yeah, I went out with giants yesterday.
Well Jan wore heels but she was taller than me anyway. Stef, tak payah cakap lah. Kenny lagi lah =.=

So yes, despite my height, I was the shortest yesterday. And not to mention the youngest but that don't mean a crack cos I've absolutely no juniorly respect towards them (x

So after the shockingly not so shocking first meet up, we met Stefira at the platform and then met Kenny at TS, after his surprisingly not so sweaty kawad session.

We ate at Old Town and I couldn't finish my Tom Yam Noodle and they thought I was anorexic. All the same topic every time lah people aiyak. =.=

Anyway it was super fun. Just the four of us :D. And I noticed this one chinese lady staring at me. She was prolly thinking "What's she doing there with all those chinese?" - Given the fact that she thinks Stef is purely chinese lah. And I just laughed it off [In my head] cos we're pretty racist for well, a non-racist gang.

WEIRD, I know.

After lunch we surveyed around the Lala world that is TS. Cringed everytime we passed by a lala shop. Which prolly meant I cringed the whole fugging day O.o There were SO many lala peopleeeee ! I couldn't bear to see it! AND LALA GUYS EWWWISH!

When its almost 2, Ken left and we went for our movie - Bride Wars. Wasn't bad, I could totally relate (x

Well okaaaay, not really the wedding part lah.
But the soulmate part :)

So then we lepak-ed a bit longer than we initially planned, sat on 3 stools at the Kid's Section in Borders and just talked and laughed and gaga-ed. Then I felt sleepy.

=.=

And our respective parents texted/called, with the latest one being stef's mum, so we decided to go back home ady. And it was SUPER SCARY in the monorail station when the lightning struck and then suddenly the lights at the tunnels just went BOOM. Okay well, it just got dark, no sound effect, really.

But still .

~~Camwhored~~ Took pics in the LRT before saying our goodbyes - we both left at different stations.

Before I went to sleep last night, I wondered if yesterday was a dream where I met the best friend whom I've longed to meet :)

Well I'd say I don't deserve you guys,
but then you guys would leave me,
So I'd just say,
LOVE YOU RETARDS! :)

p/s: It takes a retard to love another one of its kind, so yea I'm a proud retard myself! Yay
p/p/s: When are the rest of the retards going out with us? :DD

if you havent heard

2009-02-03T21:44:00.002+08:00

okay so that's all the details.

When i typed in my IC i was freakishly nervous and when I saw 'TUN GHAFFAR BABA' I was immediately jumping up and down like a pregnant kangaroo.

Yeah well, I've always wanted Jasin anyway!(:

But well, I've gotten over the joy and the excitement and now all that's left is well, sorrow and guilt for leaving. Haih. And my nerves are starting to crack too, what if I don't make any friends there? What if all the people I meet there are .. NERDS. What if they're all GENIUS and eerily HARDWORKING which btw, I am not !

Congrats to Najat for getting MRSM Langkawi and Ainaa for getting MRSM Taiping. Hajar too received an offer to MRSM Kubang Pasu [issit?] in Kedah but her mom won't let her go cos it's too far [which btw I dont think it is, but I guess I wouldn't want to go if I was her, either]

Oh oh and the 8 people who got SBP! Especially my darling Adibah ! Sains Seri Puteri is aweesomee (x I've considered the school before [Pfft, as if I could get into that school] but its like, all girls. Lesbos . Are . Super . Scary .

*COUGH*
no offence

Well then Pn Siti Hanah called those who are leaving for both SBP and MRSM to her office and she gave us a few forms to fill in, and we spent the rest of the school hours walking around the school, finding the right teachers to get our materials from. (x Macam ponteng pulak lol

But since Hajar don't wanna go, Najat left early and Ainaa was absent today, I was the only one going to MRSM, tagging along those SBP people. Haiyoh. But the forms are all the same anyway.

Hmm. Oh, to Kenny, I can't bring laptop there lah =.=
So that means I shall be writing in my diary more. Hah. My abandoned diary. Haven't posted an entry there in ages.

Well okay, havent posted an entry here in ages.

Ah well. Maybe it's sort of time for this blog to die, slowly but less painfully :')

Oh, this is like, my 680th post btw. So much for my 678th post celebration huh? Was too braindead to think of anything to post for the celebration, which explains the long absence of posts.

Yes, I'm that lame.

Ah well :p
As lame as I get.
I'd never be as lame as
YOU!
baha.
~~okay lame -.-~~

awakened from the dead

2009-01-30T16:04:00.002+08:00

well, so it seems.

Yada yada. My holidays was spent with tiring and long trips, however so they may be, they were still pretty fun. Thanks to my awesome cousins (x

I'll bug Iman for the pics later.

My class is 4 Kamil now. When I first transferred from 4 Budi to 4K, I was super devastated, but the cheer from 4K when I stepped in was very welcoming (: That was thanks to Leila, but she left the school the following monday :(

I missed the people in 4 Budi so, I was more disappointed that I didn't get to be in 4 Hemah with Razman. But after 2 weeks in 4K, I soon found that being in that class was more fulfilling than anything else so far (x . The people are awesome. I still have Amirah <3 We're pretty much in charge of the cleanliness and the decorations in the class. We had fun doing it together. Gaga.

~~I sound like a frigging kindergarten, explaining my first day of school. Whatthefahg.~~

4 Kamil is going to win the keceriaan thing SOMEDAY! :D

The teachers are okay, too. Some are better than 4 Budi's teachers, some are worse. Well, who am I to judge the educators?

Ugh omygod I'm too lazy to blog wtf.

Oh, shucksh

2009-01-30T09:53:00.005+08:00

Semakan Online MRSM Ting. 1 dan 4 - Minggu Depan

[Wednesday, January 28, 2009 | 10 comments ]

Semakan online untuk kemasukan MRSM Tingkatan Satu dan Tingkatan Empat boleh dibuat pada minggu depan. Kenyataan ini dibuat pagi tadi oleh Bahagian Pendidikan Menengah, MARA. Tiada tarikh ditetapkan setakat ini.

Nampaknya, bukanlah pada hujung bulan Januari seperti yang diwarwarkan sebelum ini. Bagaimanapun, memang lazim bagi pihak MARA mengeluarkan keputusan tawaran kemasukan MRSM pada bulan Februari.

Bagi kemasukan ke Tingkatan Satu dan Tingkatan Empat MRSM lainnya, surat tawaran akan menyusul kemudian setelah semakan online dibuka. Kini proses saringan terakhir dijalankan, khususnya setelah keputusan Tingkatan Empat ke SBP keluar pada 24 Januari lalu yang bersambung pula dengan Cuti Raya Cina. Seperti sedia maklum, calon yang telah berjaya mendapat SBP tidak akan mendapat lagi tawaran MRSM.

Kemasukan ke MRSM sememangnya amat kompetetif. Dalam kenyataan akhbar sebelum ini, Ketua Pengarah Mara, Datuk Nam Marthinin berkata, MARA menerima 16,750 permohonan untuk mengisi 6,839 tempat Tingkatan Empat yang disediakan di sebanyak 41 MRSM tahun ini. Bagi pengambilan pelajar Tingkatan Satu di MRSM pula, MARA menerima 25,097 permohonan bagi mengisi 5,330 tempat.

Kepada calon-calon yang gelisah menunggu, jangan bimbang. Biasanya aplikasi dalam talian MRSM akan beroperasi selama kira-kira 2 minggu setelah ianya dibuka untuk semakan online.

*********

Well hoho. So there. I didn't get any offers from SBP - and I am super glad :DD cos i was mainly hoping for MRSM. So yes, now I'm just waiting and hoping. Sigh.

Congrats to those people who received offers from respective boarding schools all over the country. Especially to our dearest friend, ADIBAH! SM Sains Seri Puteri, here she comes! :)

This means more time with them! :)

PMR RESULT DAY !

2008-12-31T18:30:00.003+08:00

At night, I kept waking up in the middle of my sleep.

And I dreamt about sitting for a test. But my pencil was broken D:

Okay so that was night time. Then when I woke up, I checked the time on my phone. 3 something am. I checked the time on the wall. 5.30 am. Ugh.

I stood up and immediately felt a stab of pain in my head. Whatever, I thought. I'm just going to hit the shower and pray. Went to sleep again, right after that, and managed to stay asleep til like, 9 am!

Heck, why am I even telling you this?

Well anyway, when my parents and I got all dressed up and ready to go, we went to Maybank's headquarters somewhere in KL. The whole process took so long. What with the anxiety and the empty stomach, I was lightheaded by the time we got back into the car.

My parents drove to Wangsa Maju, to have breakfast at NZ. But uh, it was 10.45 am and Razman texted me saying that everyone was called into the hall already. So instead we went to KFC's drive-thru. I only ate the bun that came with the chicken.

Then Zully texted me , saying that there were already so many people, but I was only in front of Great Eastern Mall . I almost screamed in my seat but my mum shushed me. When we finally arrived in front of the school, I ran out of the car and into the school, just to find people still relaxing =.=

But a few moments after I got my PBS certificate, the PK started the announcements about our results. Eeek.

Our overall results was much worse than last year's. There was a decline of 23% for the people who got straight A's. We targeted 164 straight A students, but came out with only 104. The irony Then she started to announce those who got straight A's, starting with 3A.

I was already in tears when they announced Amirah's name. and SHERIL'S NAME!! EEK!!

Okay I'll just cut to the chase. I am super duper grateful to Allah who has granted us our wish.
I love you guys okaaay!! :)
And to Adibah and Leila, screw those two languages lah. We can communicate using HAND languages right? LOL.

Pic courtesy of Zully

~~Okay this is an embarassing pic but it's still sorta nice~~
Pic courtesy of Kosmo! Online :D

PRE-PMR DAY!

2008-12-31T15:47:00.003+08:00

Woke up at almost noon, just to hurry into the shower to get ready to go out. I managed to persuade Kakyin to take us out to lunch at Michi Jap Restaurant well okay that's wat Xia said the name was. I forgot the name, really

Didn't think of bringing my camera, so sorrayy!

After the ~~big wasting of money on foreign~~ food fest was over, we headed to the toilet. Thrice for me. Four times for my mum and Kakyin. But merely once for Kakda. Something wrong with her bladder ! Hee :D

And then back home, to exercise while waiting for my sister to finish watching her movie. I followed the routine from Seventeen's May 2008 issue. Pretty good, check it out :D

When the movie finally ends, Kakyin and I went jogging around Melawati. Okay, so we joged for like, 15 minutes, walked for 5 minutes, ran for half a minute, then sat down at a stall and ate Iced Kacang for 30 minutes :DD.

BUT HEY! It was still pretty tiring you know! :(

At the stall, we ran into one of Kakyin's old schoolmates. And he was staring at me like D: D: D:

Him : Eh, ni sape? *points at me, open-mouthed*
Kakyin: Adik aku lah. Ade rupa tak?
Him : Ada !
Kakyin : Nampak macam aku masa sekolah menengah tak?
Him : Yes ! D: D:

Zzzz.

I look like my sister. That's pretty obvious, yeah. Then I sound like my sister. Razman told me that when I passed the phone to my sister. And Henry told me that when my sister passed the phone to me. D:

And now my parents have plans to send me to my sister's old boarding school, MRSM JASIN!

I'M TURNING INTO HER ! NUUUUUUUUU !!
x(

On our way back to our house, we waved to Mama and Abah as they drove their way to a wedding at Sheraton Hotel. So it was just my sister, my brother and I in the house. My bro was bound to go out that night. And my sisters have plans for a badminton game that night too. Thus, I have to follow them. Again. Aiyak.

It was more or less the same people. Kakyin, Kakda, Mir and Qem. Oh, and me. Mir & Qem are Kakyin's friends. Last time we played with Kakda's friends, Haziq & I-dont-know-his-name. Oh, and Nizam.

So, you ask where all the men went.
I'll answer ; to my sisters =.=

NOT that I'm saying they're players or anything. It just so happens that their best friends are mostly guys. ~~And girls don't normally play badminton so yeaaah~~

After the game ended, we went to eat dinner somewhere in Wangsa Maju. They ate, talk, made fun of "Linda's lil sister", talk, ate, smoked, laughed, ate, smoked anddd finally we went back :D.

Then my sis HAD to turn around and meet Mir because she left something with him. They met at a petrol station but the meeting lasted for like... 30 minutes. ZZZ, people! I had to go to the toilet so badly, so I rushed in after seeing the sign and when I entered I was shocked to find those type of guy-toilet bowls!

EEK!
So I thought Er, why does the ladies have those? And why is the toilet painted blue? =/ Whatever lah. I really need to pee. Aiyak, okay fine I'll check first

Then when I opened the door and looked at the sign properly, the guy didn't have any skirt on! I mean, it was wearing pants! D:

I WENT INTO THE MEN'S TOILET !
LMFAO!

and so we went home after that
and of course after I went to the ladies =.=

A FRESH, NEW START!

2008-12-31T15:20:00.003+08:00

okay, I'm just gonna do this veeeery fast. LOL.

SELAMAT AWAL MUHARAM! :)

for the non-muslims, awal muharam means the start of a new year in the Islamic calendar. Muharam is obviously the first month. Syawal is also one of the months lah of course, hehe

and thus, I shall quote Ken who quoted er.. someone in Grey's Anatomy.

be the change you want to see in this world

Okay, fine. So you think life sucks. Then change your attitude. Instead of sulking around everyday looking on the negativity of everything, why not be grateful for what you have? If u were nice to your parents for buying you something, you'd think that they'll buy you more stuff after that, right? Life works that way. Be grateful, and you'll be getting more out of your silly, old, sucky life.

You think people don't appreciate you?
Appreciate them.

You think people aren't friendly with you?
Be friendly to them

You think people don't care to take notice of you?
Notice them

All the petty problems in this teenage world could be solved, only if we cared enough to care about someone other than ourselves.

Of course, this goes to me too. I wouldn't have lost a friend if I wasn't so deep in my own world. But then again, good friends forgive. So I guess at the end of the day, it wasn't really much of a loss afterall.

Because I still have the greatest people in my life
(:

Best friends FOREVER !

2008-12-27T21:05:00.002+08:00

This is like, the CUTEST thing ever in Grey's Anatomy so far! It's in the first episode of season 5, just so you know. Hee. I love them ~~like omygawd!~~

Meredith : What would I do without cha?
Christina : Starve.

HILARIOUS!

8 LOVES

2008-12-27T12:56:00.002+08:00

Well I know you'd want to read about yourselves, so here goes. Hee. (:
Sorry for those of you whose names weren't included. Next time, maybe?

FRIENDS
1. Razman
2. Janice
3. Zulaiha
4. Iman
5. Ken
6. Stefira
7. Leila
8. Mazlan

9. How did you meet 6?
Stef; At school

10. Why are you friends with 3?
Zully; Cos we've ALWAYS been best friends! :DD

11. Is 7 in a relationship?
Leila; Last time I checked ;)

12. Have you kissed 1?
Razman; In my dreams, maybe?

13. Have you hugged 4?
Iman; I think we did more than that. ~~Now don't think unnecessary stuff, people!~~

14. Have you done anything sexual with 6?
Stef; HAHAHAH. Oh yeah suree, we've flirted around by batting our eyelashes to each other before. PFFT.

15. Would 1 and 8 make a good couple?
O.O I WOULD NEVER LET RAZMAN AND MAZLAN BE GAYS!!

16. How long have you known 2?
Janice; Since I was .. 10? :DD

17. Would you ever kiss 7?
Leila ; Sure. Havent you heard 'I kissed a girl' by katie perry? hehe

18. Whats a good memory with 5?
Ken; I don't know lah idiot. Too many? Maybe when we share our weddings LOL. Me and razman, and him with that mystery girl. HEH

19. Ever hugged 8?
Mazlan; Naww

20 .Do you love 4?
Iman; of course I love you, babe!

21. Is 5 nice?
Ken; One of the nicest person I know

22. How did you meet 3?
Zully; SKTM2!

23. Who makes you laugh?
All of them (:

24. Who makes you smile?
Them all ! xD

25 . When was the last time you saw 4?
Iman; :( It's been tooo long!

26. Would 3 and 6 make a cute couple?
Zully & Stef; Er, naw?

27. Does 8 love you?
Mazlan; he better! lol

28. Do you see 3 a lot?
Zully; Yeah, more than I see my other friends :)

29. Describe 4 in 3 words?
Iman; SYAWAL LOVES IMAN. aww! lol

30. What would you buy 1 for their birthday?
Razman; errrrrrrrr. ummm. I wish I can buy myself for him LOL.

31. Have you traveled anywhere with 5?
Ken; ermmm. not really? Just around the mall =.=

32. Do you have fun with 7?
Leila can NEVER be boring!

33. Is 2 a cool person?
Janice; the awesomest!

34. Who is the loudest?
Leila

35. Do any of them get on your nerves sometimes?
Yeaaa.. sorray!

36. Do you know when 6's birthday is?
OMIGOD. I suck with dates T_T
I'M SOO SORRY STEFIRA!

37. What do you really think of 3?
Zully; seriously like, my soulmate?

38. Best memory with 4?
Iman; when we found a snail on top of her food! HAHAHA

39. Does 1 even know you?
Razman; I'd be really sad if he doesnt :(

40. Is 5 happy?
Ken; I don't know. Knowing him, probably not.

41. Does 7 live close?
Leila, no far away

42,Do you have any classes with 2?
Jan, nah I wish!

43. Have you and 3 ever hooked up?
Zully, not a lesbo!

44. Are you and 8 close?
Lan, close enough

45. Do you wanna kiss 4?
Iman, i miss her terribly!

46. Is 6 a good person?
Stef, yeaah she is ! :(
And I feel awful for not remembering her bday :(

47. Does 2 own a car?
Jan; Naw, but she can DRIVE one! hahah

ANGUS, THONGS AND FULL-FRONTAL, PERFECT SNOGGING

2008-12-25T18:43:00.006+08:00

is the cutest cute movie ever !! AWWWHHH! LAWL!

Okay sorray getting a tad bit hyperactive like whatthemegafishcaker right?
:DD

sorry Ima bit giddy right now. cos that AARON JOHNSON IS JUST SO AWESOMELY HEART-MELTING OHMYGOSHHHIEE!

eek. Told you I was getting nutty. (X

~~PLEASE DEAR GAWD LET ME MEET HIM SOMEDAY !~~
HEEE! THIS SONG IS MAKING ME HEAD OVER HEELS OVER ~~HIM~~ STIFF DYLANS!
Eventhough Aaron isnt really a part of the band :(

ULTRAVIOLET - STIFF DYLANS
OST ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING

I'm pretty much screaming in my computer chair as we speak :DD

The movie was pretty good. Totally 15 year old ish ;D I soo don't wanna grow up just yet ! Though I think Lindsay wasn't very pretty at all. Wonder why she was the queen bee. Georgia's friends [didn't quite catch their names] were prettier, really. LoL.

Ah well. The queen bees are always the superficial yet ugly ones anyway.
Shh
;)

and it was all.. YELLOW

2008-12-24T21:52:00.003+08:00

I changed my braces again yesterday. It's YELLOW now. Razman chose that colour when I asked him. We have this thing where we wear matching coloured braces hee (X

Anyway I arrived back in KL on Sunday. It was one heck of a busy highway that day, from Ipoh to KL. The R&R in Tapah was like a total hotspot in a city, when it was actually in the middle of nowhere really.

Okay I am pretty bored that's why I resorted to blogging about highways. =.= How much lamer can one get?

Well I don't really have any dilemma in my life so I suppose I shall blab about some other people's... someday. Maybe tomorrow? For now just put up with the boring rambles of my life (:

The holidays are coming to a halt soon. Yet I haven't accomplished anything I've planned before the holidays. That is SO typical of syawal. I've bought my school uniform and tudung and shoes while I was in Ipoh. I love my shoes :DD They're a bit like Zully's, I guess. We call it the nurse shoes LOL .

I decided against buying a new schoolbag because I can't really find any nice ones and I got tired of the trend "It's-a-new-school-year-so-everything-must-be-new". I mean, you're still the same old you. New school bags won't change the ways you interpret life and people. ~~alamak crap lah pulak~~. THUS, my decision to simply give my bag and pencilcase a VIP HANDWASH. :DD

They dried up in ONE DAY. O.o showed how SCORCHING HOT it was yesterday.

Oh and I didn't mention there was no electricity in Melawati from 8am to 7pm yesterday, did I? Well now you know.

Wonder what happened to Janice O.o
Anyone, ANYONE AT ALL, heard from her?

GOD,OHMY

2008-12-24T16:05:00.002+08:00

EEEEEKS !

KUALA LUMPUR - Keputusan peperiksaan Penilaian Menengah Rendah (PMR) bagi tahun 2008 akan diumumkan pada 30 Disember ini dan semua calon peperiksaan itu boleh mengambil keputusan mereka di sekolah masing-masing mulai pukul 10 pagi.

Menurut Ketua Pengarah Pelajaran, Datuk Alimuddin Mohd. Dom, analisis keputusan PMR juga akan diumumkan pada hari yang sama di Putrajaya pada pukul 9 pagi.

Seramai 472,060 calon di seluruh negara telah mendaftar untuk menduduki peperiksaan PMR yang berlangsung dari 13 hingga 17 Oktober lalu.

I mean, I knew it was gonna be announced on that day, because my principal of an aunt told my mum who told me. But it didn't really HIT me as hard as when I read this article.

WHAT THE MOTHER FISH CAKER !

I'm not so sure what I'll be wearing on that day. I want to look presentable, but not too eager. Hopeful but not too proud. And I want to emit a vibe that says "I don't mind if I get 6A'S 1B 1C LIKE IN MY DREAM BECAUSE I AM A TOUGH GIRL AND I RAWCK REGARDLESS THE RESULTS" ~~which obviously isn't true anyway.~~

Some people were planning on wearing baju kurung but I'm scared I might just trip in that.
I CAN DEFINITELY IMAGINE MYSELF TRIPPING DOWN OKAY.

God.
Okay SABIANS hear me out.

WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE GOING TO WEAR ON RESULTS DAY?

Adieu, once again

2008-12-18T12:47:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving for Ipoh today. I know what you're thinking =.=

So please be noted that I wouldn't be able to come online for these few days. I'll be back when I'm back.

And I'm gonna leave you with a song that someone told me to dedicate to my beau. So, yeah.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

But I don't celebrate xmas anyway =.=
And even if I do, I'd wish for straight A's
Hee, sorry bie! (:

her spiral necklace

2008-12-17T21:51:00.002+08:00

by BO [his blog] [his myspace]

He's amazing !
A Malaysian indie artist (:
And zully's totallyy awesome for introducing his songs to me ! :DD

don't disagree or hesitate because
like an anvil to the ground
i'm falling for you

(:

2008-12-17T20:32:00.004+08:00

I wanted to post these up for my Kedah trip's post. But I got depressed [refer to previous post] so I think I'm just going to post these pictures up, due to xia's cry :p

Delish food at Kuala Jerlun. O.O

This was the supposed place where my dad grew up. The house was brought down, sadly :(

The legendary laksa place in Kedah. But uh, we got the wrong stall. The legendary one was the one next door =.= But it wasn't opened at the time
Check out the number of cili padis in there. And I think I ate some =x

The kampung houses we don't see everyday.
Oh, my mum there :)

Leila, me and zully. Camwhoring in Pavi's toilet after Diba, Sheril and Amirah left.
We watched WILD CHILD yesterday and it was super funny.

~~Not only do I suck, my blog does too~~

who am I?

2008-12-17T20:12:00.002+08:00

Have you ever asked yourself that?

A special friend of mine once told me that he didn't know who he was. What makes him, him? What sets him apart from others? What is that one thing that makes him who he is?

That was one year ago.

But this year, apparently he has found his specialty. He worked hard at it, and in the end he came out as the first prize winner in a public speaking competition. I was stunned by his sudden improvement, of course. Just one year ago he was having all these self-pity. But now all of a sudden he has found that joy.

That joy that I am so far from having.

Who am I? Who do I think I am?

What on earth do I DO? I wasn't bothered when he told me about it. I was like "Oh, what does it matter that I don't have any specialty anyway?" But now, come to think of it, it DOES matter.

I've tried poetry. I wasn't too bad. But actually, yes. I was bad. I was okay for a 12 year old. But not anymore. I've tried writing stories too. Let's not go there, okay? I suck at singing, even though I sing pretty much every minute of the day. I can NEVER ever play any kind of musical instrument. I stutter whenever I do public speaking. And I totally blend in when I join the choral speaking.

So you'll say "Hey, syawal's always the good one with computers!" Pfft, right. HTML is soo not my thing. I can't design a single layout for shit. Oh, and in Briged Bestari I guess they expected me to be this awesome photographer or some shit, like Kak Amalina is. But I'M NOT. My photos are all blurred and they'd all be missing all these lighting craps etc. Like I give a poo anyway.

Oh, yeah. I suck at everything else I try to do too. Sports. Every kind of sports. I even suck at kawad.

So what does that make me?
Nothing.
Totally unsignificant.

It's really hard being the only teenager in the family. More so if your family's the type who would pressure you to do your best. But if your best isn't good enough, who else is to blame but yourself, really?

So I do not know how I'll even survive next year if I go to a boarding school. They always have one thing that's theirs and is no else's.

So what makes me,
ME?

GOOD BF OR TRUE LOVE?

2008-12-15T19:52:00.001+08:00

This goes to Razman
TRUE LOVE 101 :DD

A good boyfriend will ask to borrow your money,
Your true love will steal your credit card when you're not looking (he knows your PIN of course).

A good boyfriend will put on the "perfect guy" act around your parents,
Your true love will call them mum and dad, then try to move in.

A good boyfriend will kiss you in front of his mates,
Your true love will kiss you in front of your parents.

A good boyfriend will stay on the phone with you all night,
Your true love will be there beside you watching you sleep.

A good boyfriend will tell you you're pretty,
Your true love will take your makeup off you because you're already beautiful without it.

A good boyfriend will buy you presents,
Your true love will steal your stuff.

A good boyfriend will stop when you beg him to,
Your true love will keep teasing you just so he can redeem himself later.

A good boyfriend will tell you you don't need to diet because you're fine how you are,
Your true love will force you to eat.

A good boyfriend will keep any letters you give him,
Your true love will keep the half a chocolate wrapper from that day at the park.

A good boyfriend will remember your anniversary, birthday, etc.
Your true love will remember the first thing you said when you were first alone (no matter how stupid it was).

A good boyfriend will borrow a couple of games for awhile,
Your true love will borrow your phone for weeks and steal your MP3 player.

A good boyfriend will complain that your room's too girly,
Your true love will complain about the colour of your underwear.

A good boyfriend will agree your teddies are cute,
Your true love will carry them around the mall with you.

A good boyfriend will help you up when you fall,
Your true love will pick you up randomly, whether you like it or not.

A good boyfriend will tell you he loves you,
Your true love won't need to.

/edit

This is TOTALLY our song lah bie :(

he's back

2008-12-15T19:05:00.002+08:00

LOL :D

and so am I! YAY! :DD

Kedah was aweshome. Seriously. We went from this house to that house and I can't believe myself when I say this - I actually enjoyed myself !

heh. My parents were actually in a hunt to find out our extended family tree. I mean like, really extended family tree.

It's HUGE!
~~and scary O.O~~

the whole trip was surprisingly wonderful.
and I've missed Razman soo much I feel like the hour we've spent on the phone is still not enough :(
anyway this doesn't mean I'll be neglecting my friends lorh okaye.

Oh, here's to my person (:
Kenniee. ~~Barbieeee~~

This is actually about well, those with cancer. =/

But regardless,

If you fall, stumble down
I’ll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I’ll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause
I’ll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I’ll be there for you

Leavin'

2008-12-10T22:36:00.002+08:00

I'm going to Kedah tomorroww. Hence the massive updates. Well I'm trying to reach my 678th post celebration by new year. Or if everything goes well for my PMR results, by then. So I'd be able to .. celebrate two events in one post?

Ohmygod.

Now that you've [okay, I've] mentioned it, that thought keeps nagging me lately. I mean, PMR results. Zully texted me last night. She said that she heard on fly.fm some people were nervous for PMR results TOMORROW. as in, TODAY lah. And she was all freaked out which got me freaked out too! But I told her that it was totally impossible for the PMR results to come out this early.

Wait. It is still very early, isn't it?
Oh my god.

Then I had this conversation on my way back home from Rawang [my brother's place], in the car my family and I somehow arrived on the topic of my PMR results. I told them that I was freaking scared. But then my dad said "Takpelah, kalau dapat results teruk, omey stay kat sekolah tu. That's what you want, kan? Haha"

THAT. IS . SO . COMFORTING !
SERIOUSLY
now it doesnt even matter what results I get :DD

well. Okay duhh it still does. I am still kind of hoping to get into MRSM anyway. The new environment with a whole new set of people should be very welcoming, in a funny sort of way.

Changes are good, no? :)

charlie got punk'd

2008-12-10T22:17:00.004+08:00

HEHEH.
Was online on MSN with Charles.
He's soo cute to fool around with lah hahah

Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck ; Charles

You're gonna be a shining star ; Me

Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
umm.. i think i read somethin on facebook
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
abt u
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
the what ur doing thing?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
did somethin happen between u and razman?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
u wrote somethin like he's reli leavin or somethin
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
can't remember
you're gonna be a shining star says:
oh
you're gonna be a shining star says:
right
you're gonna be a shining star says:
hahaha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
yeah he left me..
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
omg
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
what happened?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
isit cos he's shifting school next year?
you're gonna be a shining star says:
what? he's shifting sch?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
lol
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
umm.. i was just assuming?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
he can't have left u for no reason?
you're gonna be a shining star says:
nahh if anyone's shifting its me
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
oh..
you're gonna be a shining star says:
what do u think he left me for
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
umm.. he thinks he's not good enough for u
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
XD
you're gonna be a shining star says:
aren't i?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
lol
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
reli?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
what happened?
you're gonna be a shining star says:
i mean
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
u don't have to tell if u don't mind
you're gonna be a shining star says:
do you think im good enough for him?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
yea sure
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
u two are great together
you're gonna be a shining star says:
watdya mean yea sure
you're gonna be a shining star says:
he deserves better?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
no!
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
ur as good as it gets
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
haha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
hahahaha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
are u jst saying that
you're gonna be a shining star says:
lol
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
no
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
i mean it
you're gonna be a shining star says:
pinky swear?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
yea
you're gonna be a shining star says:
why would u say tht?
you're gonna be a shining star says:
=/
you're gonna be a shining star says:
its not true
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
its true
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
how come he dumped u
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
he couldn't have
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
he doesn't look like a dumper person
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
he looks too nice to do that
you're gonna be a shining star says:
but.. :(
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
...
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
its okay.. i assume u don't reli want to talk
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
abt it
you're gonna be a shining star says:
i dooo
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
its okay.. jus a relationship
you're gonna be a shining star says:
do you think we were good tgthr?
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
yea
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
a match made in heaven
you're gonna be a shining star says:
how so?
you're gonna be a shining star says:
LOL
you're gonna be a shining star says:
dramatic lah u
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
haha... sounded over d
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
haha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
hahaha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
well ..
you're gonna be a shining star says:
jst now, my 'but ..:( '
you're gonna be a shining star says:
but i never said he dumped me
you're gonna be a shining star says:
i said he left me
you're gonna be a shining star says:
to go to dubai/scotland
you're gonna be a shining star says:
HEHEE
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
oh
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
ic
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
omg
you're gonna be a shining star says:
HAHA. PUNK'D
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
screwed
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
haha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
f wei
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
hahaha
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
hahahahha
you're gonna be a shining star says:
=p =p
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
very funny syawalina
you're gonna be a shining star says:
i am, i know.
you're gonna be a shining star says:
thank youuu
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
im so not talking to u anymore
you're gonna be a shining star says:
awwwww
you're gonna be a shining star says:
:(
Today! I'm gonna take the biggest risk of my life XD wish me luck says:
hmph

relationships

2008-12-10T22:04:00.002+08:00

1- Would you rather have a fun fling or a lasting relationship?
a lasting one

2- What was your longest relationship?
this one :)

3-What is your favorite personality trait?
funny, sweet, charismatic, understanding.
stuff that he does(:

4- What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do?
omigod. i don't know. have a very meaningful call everyday :) wait outside the class near the stairs for me every morning before school starts? have tears in his eyes when I'm all dressed up and looking pretty and telling me that he doesn't deserve me? tells me that he'll spend his whole life trying to prove his love if he has to? has tears in his eyes when he sees me cry for unknown reasons?

i really don't know. it's everything.

5- When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you?
that he's early. hahaha

6- Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)?
haha. he likes it so yeah (:

7- What is your ideal night out with a significant other?
a moonlit dinner, then probably dancing under the moonlight, and then probably his proposal hehehehe.

9- Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
well if they mean love as in ROMANTICLY, and I'd have to say that, then of course not. it would burden me a lot. ONE GUY is enough for a lifetime thankyouverymuch

10- Do you like relationships that involve serious commitments?
yes. hhaha

11- If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen?
totally grand!

12- If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible?
well it depends if we're both ready. mentally, emotionally and financially. ESPECIALLY FINANCIALLY HAHA.

13- Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?
er yea =/ we talk about it everyday actually. in a way

14- Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type?
a sensitive open one (:

15- When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?
hee. we do that.

16- Do you like public displays of affection?
er. does staring into each other's eyes include in the many cases of PDAs?

17- Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship?
cheating lah

18- What is one thing that you value most in a relationship?
his honesty (:

19- Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation?
goodness gracious, i hope so.
I REALLY HOPE SO.

20- Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
no, not really.
we'd rather just get married fast haha.

pretty pissed off

2008-12-10T12:20:00.002+08:00

well aren't i always (:
gaga.

i wont apologise for the lack of updates. like any of you actually care anyway. (:

er i had a nightmare today. when i woke up, was i glad that i had razman instead of.. =/ nevermind.

for proper updates, please hold on while i gather all the mood and stamina that is left in me.

RIGHT.

So these past few days have been quite nice. I don't think I've ever been to JJ for so many consecutive days til lately. Well don't blame me. That's like, the nearest most appealing neighbourhood mall there is, eventhough it's not really in my neighbourhood. hmph. who cares. i loveeeeee melawati :DD

~~screw you if you dont~~

I've bought this one totebag which I probably shouldn't have bought before I at least checked Roxy's factory outlet store in Cheras. They have like, the greatest discounts there. But yeah, I bought the totebag from F.O.S in JJ anyway. Grr. Don't know when I'll get my sister to fork out some more money for my shopping needs anymore. :(

Was supposed to go out with Jan, Stef, Ken and Kye yesterday but Jan and I faced some problems [not with each other lah] so we decided to postpone it til next week probably. So instead I went out with my cousins to KLCC and watched twilight. Second time for me. Went to the toilet in the middle of the movie, thus missing the kissing scene [WHICH WAS CUT so er, I didn't miss anything I guess. sweat.] I'd like to watch it for the last last last time with Razman. soon, when he gets back. before school starts. before PMR results are announced and ruin my life FOREVER :(((

Okay I know I'm updating in a mess. I don't even remember which day's which now. All I know is .. well, there's only four more days left :DD til til til I get myself back. You know what I mean :)

Ah, and I know it seems like I'm this ignorant little girl who doesn't care at all about what happened between myself and Mazlan, but I guess I'm just good at that. I'm good at giving false thoughts to people. I can NEVER convince people I care. I suck at that.

So, mazlan. Please hear me when I say [type] this. I do care about you, you know I do. It's just hard sometimes being a friend to someone I argue a lot with. Sometimes I think that maybe it's better if we were strangers but I guess I was wrong [as I was with a lot of other things]. It's never right to end a friendship, ever.

I'm glad everything worked out between us. I'm glad you said what you said.
I am just glad for everything, kay? (: